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Shmirat Halashon - Friday (25 of Tishrei) and Shabbat (26th of Tishrei) 5769
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
(Lashon Hora =relating something negative about someone else that is TRUE)
Friday - 25th of Tishrei
Lesson 1 It is considered lashon hora to report that someone else spoke lashon hora. Ex: "My mom told all her friends how annoyed she was with our neighbor". This portrays the mom in a negative light.
Lesson 2 It is considered lashon hora to reveal that someone did not act kindly. Ex: "I can’t believe that Mrs. X did not want to host the guests for the weekend retreat". or "I was shocked that the people in that town didn’t give me more charity when we came collecting".
Shabbat - 26th of Tishrei
Lesson 1 Although we are allowed to voice disapproval of a general behavior (For a constructive purpose), if we mention this in connection with a particular person or group then it is considered lashon hora. For example, "That woman brought all her 15 kids to the bar mitzvah, i think that is inappropriate to do such a thing, they took up all the space.
Lesson 2 If you state someone elses disapproval about a general behavior, it is still lashon hora. For example: "my friend doesn’t approve of the way i was raised. She says my parents didn’t give me enough attention". This comment portrays the parents in a negative light.
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Posted 10/24/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon - Sunday (20th of Tishrei 5769)
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson
1
Speaking lashon hora about someone in front of them is very serious,
even if you are mentioning their faults to criticize them constructively.
Corrective comments should be delivered privately. Offending someone in public
causes humiliation and mortification and is lashon hora.
Lesson 2
One is not allowed to say lashon
hora even as a joke. - even if its said without hatred and without the intention
of hurting/degrading the person. saying "its just a joke" doesn’t change its
status.
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Posted 10/20/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon for Monday (21st of Tishrei) and please print off for Tuesday (22nd of Tishrei) and
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Monday - 21st of
Tishrei
Lesson 1
Lashon Hora is a derogatory
statement that is TRUE. If the information is false, it is considered Motzi
Shaim Ra - defamation of character.
Lesson 2
Lashon Hora is
derogatory speech about another Jew and/or speech which may harm another Jew by
degrading them in the eyes of other people, causing them shame, causing them
financial loss, and revealing private information about
them.
Tuesday - 22nd of Tishrei - Simchat Torah
Lesson 1 We are not allowed to speak
negatively about someone’s inborn traits. Claiming that "I’m not really saying
anything negative about the person because it’s not her fault she was born that
way" doesn’t make it any less lashon hora.
Lesson 2We are not
allowed to talk negatively about someones appearance/clothing even if it is
obvious to all those who see the person. For example "her hat is so ugly" "did
you see how much wait he gained?"
Wednesday - 23d of Tishrei -
Shmini Atzeret
Lesson 1
We are not allowed to talk
negatively about someones family. For example: "i heard The Smith’s are fighting
over their fathers inheritance".
Lesson 2
In the even that you
see someone doing something wrong, you are not allowed to speak about it and are
required to judge the person favorably.
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Posted 10/20/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon - Friday (11th of Tishrei) and Shabbat (12th of Tishrei). Shabbat Shalom
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Rchilut = reporting to someone what others have said or
done against them. i.e. "Mr. Z told me you are dishonest and cannot be trusted"
or "Your sister stole your shoes".
Friday - 11th of Tishrei
Lesson 1
If you hear the same piece of rchilut from two or more people, you are
still not allowed to believe it.
Lesson 2
If there is a widespread rumor that a specific person has maligned you, you
are still not allowed to accept this rumor as truth.
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Shabbat - 12th of Tishrei
Lesson 1
You may not believe rchilut even if you hear it from a trustworthy person.
Again, if you need to know the information for practical reasons, then you can
be on your guard, but cannot accept the information as truth.
Lesson 2
You are not allowed to believe rchilut even if someone incidentally related
it to you in the course of a conversation without any intent to cause ill-will.
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Posted 10/19/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon (13th of Tishrei) - Rchilut Continued
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Rchilut =
Reporting to someone what others have done or spoken against
them.
Lesson 1
What if you were told that someone acted or
spoke against you, and you personally observed circumstantial evidence that
gives you reason to believe what you have heard it true? Are you allowed to
believe it?
Yes. Only if certain conditions are met.
Lesson
2 - conditions for being allowed to believe rchilut if you observed
circumstantial evidence:
A. There is absolutely no way to judge the person
favorably.
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Posted 10/19/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon - Monday -Erev Sukkot (14th of Tishrei), Tuesday -Sukkot Day 1 (15th of Tishrei), a
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
(Rchilut=reporting to
someone what others have done or spoken against them)
Monday -Erev
Sukkot (14th of Tishrei)
Lesson 1 -Recap
If you were told
someone acted or spoke against you and you personally observed circumstantial
evidence that backs up the claim - you ARE allowed to believe it. Only if the
following 4 conditions are met:
Lesson 2
Condition A: There is
no way to judge the person favorably... there could be no possible explanation
to the circumstantial evidence you are seeing.
Tuesday -Sukkot
Day 1 (15th of Tishrei)
Lesson 1
Condition B: What you have
seen must actually be very close in detail to what you have
heard
Lesson 2
Condition C: You must witness the circumstantial
evidence yourself. Hearing it from others is not
sufficient
Wednesday - Sukkot Day 2 (16th of Tishrei)
Lesson 1
Condition D: It must be
necessary for you to know the information for practical reasons. Otherwise you
are not even allowed to listen to the narrative.
Lesson 2
If
the above 4 conditions are met, you are allowed to believe rchilut that you have
heard. However, even if you have witnessed the circumstantial evidence, you are
not allowed to repeat it to others.
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Posted 10/19/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon (17 Tishri 5769) - Chag Sameach!!!!!!! - for the return of Ron ben Batya Arad - who
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Rchilut =
Reporting to someone what others have done or spoken against
them
Lesson 1
It is considered rchilut to go tell your parents
what others have said about them, even if you are just venting or irritated that
someone maligned your parents. i.e. "its disgusting what those neighbors said
about your parenting skills, they don’t know what they are talking
about!!!"
Lesson 2
Many people don’t realize that you are not
allowed to speak rchilut about a child. If you see two kids fighting, and you
tell one parent that the other kid hit their kid, it can be considered rchilut.
It can cause disputes between the children and both families. You are only
allowed to relate the incidence for a constructive purpose
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Posted 10/19/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon - Friday (18th of Tishrei) and Shabbat (19th of Tishrei) 5769 -Refuah Shleima to sh
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
(Rchliut = Reporting to
someone what others have done or spoken against them)
Friday - 18th of
Tishrei
Lesson 1
A parent grows terribly upset if someone defames
their child. When we speak lashon hora about a fellow Jew, we are defaming G-ds
Children.
Lesson 2
If you tell someones relatives rchilut
(that someone did or said something about their family member) it is considered
rchilut, since it will undoubtedly cause them to dislike the other
person.
Shabbat - 19th of Tishrei -- examples of
Rchilut
Lesson 1 "Mr. X said that your brother does bad repair
work"
Lesson 2"Do you know that he called your father a
crook?"
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Posted 10/19/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon - October 6 (Rchilut Continued)
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud.
Rchilut = Reporting to someone what others have done or spoken against them.
Lesson 1
If John telling you in the presence of a group
that someone spoke or acted against you, you are still not allowed to
believe it. If no practical/constructive (i.e. preventing yourself from
harm) benefits can be gained by knowing the information, you must
ignore what was said.
Lesson 2
You are not allowed to believe rchilut, even if
it was related to you in the presence of the person who supposedly
spoke against you and s/he remains silent. The silence can be ascribed
to factors other than guilt, i.e. desire to avoid dispute.
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Posted 10/16/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon Tuesday October 7, 2008 - Rchilut Continued...
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Rchilut =
Reporting to someone what others have said or done against
them.
Lesson 1
If you have suffered a large financial setback
or the loss of your job, and a certain person is pointed out to you as the one
responsible, you are not allowed to accept this accusation as absolute truth.
You are only allowed to be on guard to prevent further loss.
Lesson
2
If someone pointed out to you the person who supposedly cost you your
job, you are not allowed to believe it, even if the person is silent. The
silence cannot be considered proof. Maybe the person isn’t speaking up because
s/he knows s/he wont be believed or is silent so as not to embarrass someone
else.
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Posted 10/16/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon for Wednesday October 8 and 9 (Erev and Yom Kippur)
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Instead of sending out a regular lesson as i know people are busy and looking
for inspiration, I am attaching the letter from Rebbetzin Kanievski about the
importance of Shmirat Halashon.
I would also like to personally disclose
that in my own family, since we have started to learn these lessons, we have
seen tremendous changes in our awareness of the importance of speech. I realized
last week also that since my family has started learning (right after pesach) we
have had three engagements/weddings and many other beautiful blessings. As Rabbi
Segal from Manchester writes: "Never did I see a person who learned 2 Halachot
of Shemirat Halashon every day and didn’t see salvation from above, whether in
children, shidduch, good health, parnasa or bringing up the children".
As many of you have told me over the past few months, learning how
important and powerful speech could be, and taking measures to ensure we speak
constructively, really opens people up to see things differently. There is a
very famous quote used in social work that states "I learn what i believe when i
hear myself speak". This is so accurate. By how we speak, we can choose how we
see people, how we approach people, and how willing we are to look at things in
a positive light. We all know personal examples of having our views changed
about someone or something because of how someone else spoke about the person.
Right?
As many of you know,Yom Kippur is not about regret or self pity,
rather it is our opportunity to stand before our Creator, to ask for and look
forward to a beautiful future. In the merit of this learning, may all of you be
blessed to have all your thoughts, prayers, and wishes answered for the good on
this amazing powerful and holy day. May you merit a long happy healthy year
with inner peace, blessing, success, health, happiness, and may all of you merit
to fulfill your true potential in this world without any pain or
suffering.
Here is the letter from Rebbetzin Kanievsky:
The
situation in Eretz Yisrael is very difficult.
We are suffering terrible
losses, many orphans and widows from different diseases. My husband, Reb Chaim,
was asked what could be the reason for all these tragedies.
The Rabbi opened
a Gemara and said it’s because of foul language. How can we correct ourselves?
Only by watching what we say. I read an article written by Rabbi Segal from
Manchester who writes:
"Never did I see a person who learned 2 Halachot
of Shemirat Halashon every day and didn’t see salvation from above, whether in
children, shidduch, good health, parnasa or bringing up the children. He had
promised that whoever will learn the Chafetz Hayim, he will be his defender in
Heaven. "And we witnessed miracles that happened to people who took upon
themselves two Halachot every day and saw Yeshuot. While I was reading the
article a woman walked in crying and said she has a number of aging daughters
that are still not married. I showed her the article and immediately she said
she will learn two Halachot of Shemirat Halashon every day. Within three days
one daughter got engaged. Two months later her second daughter and ba"h this
woman saw many Yeshuot. Like her, hundreds of girls who took upon themselves the
Shemirat Halashon got married.
A different story is about a woman who came to
us about a year agowith great sorrow saying that she’d been married for 20 years
and shedid not have children. I advised her to learn two Halchot every day and
B"H she conceived and now has a month old baby boy.
And another story:
A
few weeks ago a woman came to me, broken and crying, and said that her mother is
in the hospital with a growing tumor. She asked what she could take upon herself
to help. Again, I advised that the entire family learn two Halachot of Shemirat
Halashon every day. Two days later she returned and asked of me to tell her
story and the miracle that happened. She said that the entire family gathered
and decided to learn two Halachot daily and two days later they received a phone
call from the hospital saying to come and pick up the mother, the tumor is gone
and she is in good health.
I hear many miracles such as these.
And now, we
should all take upon ourselves, bli neder, to learn two Halachot of Shemirat
Halashon every day and pray with great kavana.
A prayer that comes from the
heart through a holy mouth is immediately accepted by Boreh-Olam and prevents
many troubles and tragedies and brings Yeshua to the world. In the future, each
one of us will be shown how many wonderful doings, how many people we saved. And
thanks to you, my dear righteous women and girls, we will have the Zechut to
bring Mashiah Tzidkeinu soon in our days.
Yehi Ratzon that Hashem will
fulfill all of your wishes for the best,
Batsheva Kanyevsky
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Posted 10/16/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon For Friday and Shabbat (October 3 and 4, 2008) - Rchilut Continued
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Friday - October 3
Lesson 1
If you have reason to believe that someone is planning to harm you, you are allowed to inquire about that person from as many people as is necessary. This is allowed even though you risk hearing derogatory information, since your soul intention is to protect yourself.
Lesson 2
If you inquired about someone to protect yourself, and found out that the person does have ill intentions toward you, you still cannot accept this as absolute truth, even though you hear it said by many people.
Shabbat - October 4
Lesson 1
If you found out someone has intentions to harm you, even though you can protect yourself, you cannot embarrass that person or harm them in any way. You are not even allowed to feel dislike towards them. You can only protect yourself.
Lesson 2
Certain individuals have a habit of constantly asking people to tell them what others have said about them (just because they are curious). Unless you are sure the information is necessary for you to know to guard yourself, don’t ask others "what did s/he say about me?"
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Posted 10/6/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon - 10/5/2008
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1
If you know for sure that someone spoke or acted against you, but it is possible that s/he meant no harm, you are obligated to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Lesson 2
It can be extremely difficult to think that the person who has told you rchilut has completely fabricated the story. In such instances, assume that certain details may have been added or subtracted which would entirely change the meaning of what was said. Also, the original statement could have been said in a tone of voice that wasn’t derogatory.
Rchilut = Reporting to someone what others have spoken about or done against them.
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Posted 10/6/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon - for Monday- Erev Rosh Hashana -
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Lesson 1
Any statement that will cause hatred is termed rchilut even when the statement reveals no new information to the listener.
Lesson 2 - an example of the above lesson
When Reuven already knows what Shimon said about him or did to him, but does not realize that there was ill intention in that statement or action, if you explain to reuven how the remark was meant to be derogatory or spiteful, it is considered Rchilut.
Thank you all for learning these lessons. I really appreciate it! In merit of your learning may you be blessed with health, happiness, peace, success, clarity, and all the blessings in the world. Shana Tova!
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Posted 10/3/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon Please print off for Tuesday and Wednesday - Rosh Hashana
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Tuesday
Lesson 1
If Reuven slandared shimon in the presence of two people and one of those two people related this to Shimon, the second person is still not allowed to tell him the same information (Even if he does not add anything to the narrative). Hearing information from a second person will increase animosity.
Lesson 2
If you have spoken rchilut and want to right the wrong, you need to ask the person about whom you have spoken to forgive you. This applies only in cases where the rchilut was believed, since it is then bound to cause ill-will. If your rchilut was not believed, you need not ask the maligned person for forgiveness.
Wednesday -
Lesson 1
Whenever possible, try to convince the person to whom you related your rchilut that you were mistaken: "Reuven didnt really say anything derogatory about you; I misunderstood him".
Lesson 2
We are not allowed to listen to Rchilut even if we are not resolved whether we will believe it.
Shana Tova Umetukah - (May you have a good and sweet new year!!)
(Rchilut - reporting to someone what others have done or spoken against them)
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Posted 10/3/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon 10/2/2008
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1
In the event that you happen to hear rchilut, you are not allowed to accept it as truth
Lesson 2
You are allowed to listen to rchilut when you feel that knowledge of the information will be necessary to protect yourself from future damage. However, even in such instances, you cant accept what was said as the absolute truth. You are only allowed be exercise caution on the basis of what you have heard.
Rchilut = reporting to someone what others have said about or done to them.
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Posted 10/3/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon 09/28/2008- Rchilut continued
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1
If someone made a derogatory remark about another person, you are not allowed to repeat this remark to the subject, even if you feel that you would have done so all the same in the presence of the person you are quoting. This applies all the more so when the originator of the remark is actually present. The listener will more readily accept the statement to be true and much hatred will be caused.
Lesson 2
If you are told that someone spoke lashon hora about you. - you are not allowed to go to the initial speaker and ask "why did you speak against me to that person?"
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Posted 9/29/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon for Friday 09/26/2008 - Rchilut Continued
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1
We are not allowed to tell the proprietor of a store that another person has belittled their merchandise, since this will cause animosity.
Lesson 2
We are not allowed to relate rchilut even to a single individual, and all the more so before a group
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Posted 9/29/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon For Shabbat 09/27/2008 - Please print off and read on Shabbat Shalom
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1
Certain people have a tendency to assume that others always speak against them. If you converse with such a person, you must be extra cautious. Don’t say anything that might possibly give them the impression that someone has spoken or acted against them.
Lesson 2
If a partner secretly planned to break of their partnership or engagement, but ultimately decided not to, you are forbidden to disclose this to the other partner. Such a report will definitely cause ill-will. This applies even if many people know about those plans.
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Posted 9/29/2008 12:00 AM |
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Shmirat Halashon 09/25/2008 - Rchilut continued
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Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud
Lesson 1 We are not allowed to remind someone that another person abused them, even if you do so in a roundabout manner. Although you might not overtly mention the abuse, it is considered rchliut to allude to an incident with the intent of arousing animosity.
Lesson 2 Whatever constitutes rchilut when spoken, is also not allowed to be written.
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Posted 9/26/2008 12:00 AM |
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Important Numbers
