Q. When asked about a potential shidduch, is it permissible to express an opinion regarding the appropriateness of the match (for example, how well the families are suited to each other), or do you have to stick to the facts as you know them personally?
A. Pischei Teshuvah (O. H. 156) writes that although the Magen Avraham and the mussar sforim write at length concerning the prohibition of lashon hara, there is an even greater transgression. That is refraining from informing another about a situation in which he can be victimized, thus violating the injunction "You shall not stand by the blood of your brother." (Vaykro 19:16)
However, Chofetz Chaim (H. Lashon Hora 10,2) rules that in a shiduch information request, one is allowed to convey only factual data. The knowledge of the particulars also has to be generally first hand or from one's own experience and personal observation.
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit"a opinion is that it is prohibited to express one's own personal feelings and subjective evaluation of the suitability of a shiduch, if it cannot be substantiated with facts. This may bring to an end an otherwise good and viable shiduch. However, if one is specifically asked for a personal opinion, he may offer it, as long as he makes it clear that this is only his particular and unproven point of view.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as advised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit"a
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