1) The discussion up until now was regarding Teshuva for "regular" sins.
However, for one who [intentionally] transgressed a severe sin in the area of "Hilchos Tznius" (such as MZ"L or similar sins) a regular Teshuva is not adequate, and a stronger Teshuva must be done. (See Zohar Parshas Vayechi and Parshas Vayakhel)
The Seforim Hakedoshim say that for these sins one must first do the regular Teshuva (Charata, Kabala Al HaAsid and Vidui) and then must also strengthen in Torah study, even though it may be difficult. (See Reishis Chochma Sha'ar HaTeshuvah Perek 2 and Sha'ar HaKedusha Perek 17. See also Nefesh Hachaim Sha'ar 1:21 and Sha'ar 4:31 and Sha'ar HaTziyun Siman 615:5 and Talmud Brachos 5a-b that one who learns Torah merits having his sins expunged)
2) He must try and strain himself to wake up earlier to learn or otherwise learn at a time when he really does not have a desire to do so. (Reishis Chochma Sha'aR Hateshuva Perek 7)
Furthermore, he should be careful not to interrupt his learning with lighthearted talk and should try and review whatever he learns a few times even though he feels like he already knows what he learned, as doing so is considered learning Torah L'shmah. (See Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah Siman 246:17 and Kraina D'Igrasa letters 11, 12 and 168)
He should try to learn at times when many people are not learning (such as Erev Shabbos and Shabbos) as learning at such a time is more powerful than learning at a time when many people are learning. (See Ben Ish Chai, second year, Parashas Shmos in introduction that learning Torah on Shabbos is 1,000 times as powerful as learning during the week. See also Yesod V'Shoresh HaAvodah Sha'ar 8:1 quoting the Arizal that learning on Thursday nights is an extremely good Tikun for P'gam HaBris, sins involving the lack of Kedusha with one's bris.)
The above are just a few examples; each person should figure out on their own what area of their Torah study needs improvement and doing so will serve as part of his Teshuva process.
Halachos for Shabbos Kodesh
1) It is extremely worthwhile for one who transgressed areas of Hilchos Tzniyus to learn Mishnayos of Seder Taharos, as these Mishnayos are very beneficial for purifying one's Neshama (Arizal quoted in Reishis Chochma Sha'ar HaKedusha Perek 17)
Additionally, saying Tehillim is very appropriate thing to do when doing Teshuva on sins in the realm of Tznius (especially Psalm 51) as reciting Tehillim causes ones heart to feel close to Hashem and brings to emotions of genuine Teshuva. (See Pele Yoetz; "Zohar" and "Tehilim". Of course it's best if one says it slowly and understands the meaning of the words, but even if he doesn't it is still very effective. See also Shu"t Noda B'Yehuda Orach Chaim Siman 35)
2) However, Tehillim should not be recited at the expense of learning Torah, rather it should be said at a time when one would not otherwise be learning. (See Nefesh HaChaim Sha'ar 4 Perek 3)
Keep in mind that even one who had a heavenly decree of death passed against him can have it reversed if he strengthens himself in the area of learning Torah and learns more Torah than is usual for him. (See Talmud Rosh Hashana 18a and Midrash Rabbah Parashas Kedoshim Parsha 25)
QUESTION & ANSWER CORNER
Reader Submitted Questions of interest on topics related to Halachos we covered, as well as other interesting topic and Answers.
These Q&A are taken from the Q & A pages on the Halacha For Today website.
Although the answers I give to questions are taken directly from the Sifrei HaPoskim, and aren't my own, they are still for study purposes only, NOT for Psak Halacha.
Questions can be emailed to HalachaForToday@Gmail.com
Reader's Question:
I heard that when one moves into a new home one has 30 days to put up mezuzos. Is this correct ?
Answer:
This is only correct for one who rents the home or apartment, in which case he doesn't need to, and possibly shouldn't, put up the Mezuzah until living there 30 days at which time it is put up with a bracha.
One who owns the apartment (or even a renter in Eretz Yisroel) must put up the Mezuzah immediately and recite the bracha.
An owner should not even sleep in the home for one night without a Mezuzah. (See Igros Moshe Yoreh Deah Vol. 1 Siman 179)
CHIZUK CORNER
This section is dedicated L'Ilui Nishmas the late Telzer Rosh Yeshiva , HaRav Chaim Yaakov ben Rav Binyomin Moshe Stein Zatzal.
We will B'Ezras Hashem post here each day a short inspirational thought to help us all improve our lives and grow in our service of our Father in heaven, HaKadosh Baruch Hu.
IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING MEANINGFUL FOR THIS SECTION, PLEASE EMAIL IT TO HalachaForToday@Gmail.com
THANK YOU AND תזכו למצות!
זכר צדיק וקדוש לברכה
Question submitted anonymously:
If a person feels they can't forgive someone, must they say they forgive them?
They don't want to forgive them because they caused them so much pain, however they don't want to suffer the consequences of that action. What to do?
Answer by Devoiry:
I'm sure that there are other people reading this that also have this question and I'm so glad you asked it so I can try to answer it for all those who were wondering but just didn't ask. I really respect you for trying to find a way to get past the hurt and work on really forgiving others for the pain they have caused you-that is really something to look up to!
Forgiveness can be a very difficult thing. On one hand, someone else hurt you and on the other hand, you know it is a very dangerous thing to hold on to the past without letting go.
One important thing to remember is that every single thing that happens to you is from Hashem. Of course we all know that as a fact but internalizing it and really feeling it when things are tough or when someone hurts your feelings is another story. If a person hurts your feelings, says something to make you feel bad, embarrasses you or does anything that makes you not want to forgive them, know that this is all from Hashem. S/he cannot do anything to hurt you if Hashem didn't want it to be that way.
Maybe it's a kapparah - if you are embarrassed in public or if someone says something to hurt your feelings and you don't answer back, you are seriously erasing your aveiros in a way that you cannot imagine! And what a better time to get your aveiros erased than before Yom Kippur! I'm sure we can all use that - a quick "delete" of our sins so we can become cleansed.
Maybe this is a way for you to work on your middos, on being more accepting, on not letting things get to you. If someone hurt you in a way that made you feel really bad, you need to think about it-why does this hurt me so much? Maybe I'm holding on to something too strongly and I need to let it get past me?
And maybe it happened for unknown reasons-unknown to you, that is. Because Hashem has a plan, He knows what He is doing and just know that this is all for your good, for the good of your neshama, for your spiritual growth. You can take this as a way to let yourself become a more giving, forgiving person.
Keep telling yourself again and again no one can hurt me in any way unless Hashem wants it to be. I may not understand why He wants this to happen, but I know that whatever happens in my life is not in my control. I will work on myself to look past the things that hurt me so I can forgive.
Forgiveness is not for the other person-it's for yourself. It's so that you learn to become a better person, a person who can give in, a person who can say it's okay.
Now, don't get me wrong, you should not let yourself become a doormat. If someone keeps hurting you again and again, perhaps you need to reevaluate your relationship and see if it is going in the right direction. I don't know who it is that hurt you that you are trying to forgive - but know that if it is someone with whom you can end a relationship or maybe make them realize your side, maybe you need to do that: talk it over. Tell the person that you feel hurt by whatever was done/said to you. Try to get that person to understand your side.
Also, some things are so trivial, so unimportant that when you will look back in a little while, you will realize that it was so not worth getting upset about. Of course, right now when you are in that situation, it hurts and it hurts terribly. But when you look back after you are over and done with it, you will be able to see that these things pass and things will get better.
You may have heard that if you forgive other people, especially when it's hard for you, Hashem will forgive you. What could be better than that? Now, before Yom Kippur, don't we all want forgiveness for our aveiros? By you going the extra step and saying, I will find it within myself to forgive this person and get past the pain, Hashem will forgive you for the things you may have done that were "too much"!
May you be able to forgive all those who have hurt you with a light heart and may this year be one where we all achieve full forgiveness from Hashem!
Written by daily reader, Devoiry; Taken from her blog
Important Numbers
