Q. A Shadchanit called me about a shiduch and we went on a date. She told me that everything was okay with the boy, but on the date I had a feeling that he was somehow "distant", and some of his responses seemed "off", as though he was answering a slightly different question from the one I was asking. Otherwise, he seemed nice. I accepted to go out with him again, and he is traveling this week from another city to meet me. Mean time, I contacted one of my friends in that place who knows him and I was told that he suffers slightly from some kind of syndrome. I’m not sure I’m interested in this shiduch anymore, but he has already bought his plane ticket and I doubt he can get a refund. He also made arrangements to stay here with a friend and it would be very embarrassing for him to have to cancel.
So I don’t know what is the correct thing to do, should I keep the date, even if there is only a small chance that this shiduch will progress, or just be truthful and cancel everything?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that taking into account the human reality that there is hardly anyone that can be deemed to be totally and completely healthy and perfect, both in body and mind, as long as there is a possibility for a positive outcome, you should continue with the accepted date, and daven to Hashem for the right guidance and assistance.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
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