Place In this week’s parsha Rashi points out that Pinchos, who was appointed to oversee the battle with Midyan, was a descendant, maternally, of Yisro, who was also called Putiel. The reason he was given this name is because he fattened (pitame) calves for sacrifices for idol worship.
Chazal tell us that Yisro had seven names; each one describing a different aspect of his personality. Rav Wolbe notes (Shiurei Chumash Parshas Matos) that each name has a positive connotation (Yeser - because he added a parsha to the Torah, Chovov - because he was fond of the Torah). Why then, he asks, was he called Putiel, which has a negative connotation alluding to his days as an idol worshipper? The answer is that in reality it is an allusion to a very commendable act performed on his part. Before Yisro converted to Judaism, he was not merely an idol worshipper; he was [in the words of Rashi] a priest and a personality "who sat at the top of the world." Despite all his fame and glory, he travelled out to the desert and converted to Judaism. The name Putiel alludes to this act of greatness, and there is no more admirable virtue than sacrificing all one has for the sake of Hashem. We can look at the name Putiel negatively or positively. Chazal have taught to choose the positive perception.
In a similar vein, Rav Wolbe suggests a way for one to combat his inclination to speak lashon hara. He writes (Alei Shur vol. II pg. 207) that despite the fact that people often talk about the severity of speaking lashon hara and some even learn the sefer Chofetz Chaim that deals with its halachos, nevertheless, many people fail to refrain from this aveirah. The way to rid one’s self from speaking lashon hara is not by simply closing one’s mouth. This will back fire in a day or two and he will end up "paying interest" and speak twice as much as usual. The correct way is to work on acquiring the middah of chesed. The more one looks at others with an eye focused on what he could do for their betterment, the less he will be inclined to speak derogatorily about them.
The practical way to work on overcoming this yetzer hara is as follows: Once a day, for a period of fifteen to twenty minutes when one is in the company of others, he should make an effort not to speak lashon hara. During the allotted time, should the urge to speak disparagingly about another person arise, he should make an effort to conquer the desire and instead choose to say something positive about that person. Every person has qualities and shortcomings - the question is merely on which aspects one chooses to focus.
During the three weeks which were specifically designated as a time to mourn the destruction of the Beis Hamikdosh, we should make an added effort to combat the aveirah of speaking lashon hara. Lashon hara was one of the main reasons that the Beis Hamikdosh was destroyed and, therefore, also the key to its being rebuilt. At least once over the course of these three weeks, let us try to substitute a positive comment in place of a negative one. With Hashem’s help we can start rectifying this sin and merit the rebuilding of the Beis Hamikdosh speedily in our days.
Important Numbers
