By Rabbi Avram Rothman
The purpose of kissing the Torah as it is “paraded” through the Shul before and after reading it, is to give honour to the Torah. This is very different from a special occasion when one might need to pray in front of the Torah.
There are times of great need or distress when someone might open the Aron HaKodesh (Holy
Ark) that contains the Torah and might even put their hand on the Torah in order to “pour out their heart” during a specifically difficult time. An example might be the sudden or continuing suffering of a loved one or a precarious health situation.
This is usually done in private and certainly not during the prayer service itself.
When one is given the opportunity to kiss the Torah before or directly after a Torah reading service, it is solely to show love and respect for the Torah. Such an instance should take a few seconds at most and does not lend itself to a lengthy prayer or supplication at that time.
It is not the time for personal prayers or requests.
On that basis, when men or women have the opportunity to kiss that Torah, one needs to
remember that they are doing so as a sign of respect, not a time for personal prayers and should not be longer than a second or two per person. One who uses this time to touch the Torah and say a personal prayer taking longer than a second or two is actually doing something wrong in that they are:
1. Sending the wrong message to others who reasonably presume the person is overwrought
with emotion as a result of a loved one in great pain and suffering
or
2. Are delaying the entire Congregation from prayer which is a serious error on the art of anyone to do.
Therefore, individuals of either gender who are in a situation that they are able to kiss the Torah, must be careful to not misinterpret what they are doing and the purpose of it. We have a number of people who make this mistake weekly and it is not a positive thing they are doing.
In addition, one should make a point of kissing the Torah by putting their hand on the cover and then kissing their hand. One should specifically not use a side or chumash to kiss the Torah.
It is a great privilege for any of us, male or female to be able to show our respect for the Torah by appropriately kissing it. We must be sure that in doing so we follow the halachot and not turn our good intentions into negative actions.