a. Unless a parent is knowingly mochel, it is forbidden to refer to your father or mother by their first name (even when requested for identification purposes)without a title of honor preceding the first name, whether or not they are present and whether or not they are alive. When being called to the Torah, one must refer to his father as Reb or Avi Mori. Whenever referring to one's mother, one can use the title HaIsha or Moras (Yoreh Deah 240:2)
b. When honoring parents, very special care and concern must be taken to do it b'sever ponim yofos--pleasantly (Yorah Deah 240:4). The Sefer Chareidim (Mitzvos Asei of the Heart 1:35) and Rav Chaim Shmulevitz (Sichos Mussar 5731:22) both explain that in order to properly perform the mitzvah, one must
mentally gain a true appreciation and honor of their parents and literally view them as royalty. Indeed, the Chayei Adom (67:3) known for his succinctness in recording Halacha, writes that the "Ikar Kibud"--the most important [aspect of] Kibud is that "He should view his parents as GREAT personages and important dignitaries of the land."
Reprinted with permission from Hakhel MIS