We continue with our Erev Shabbos Hilchos Shabbos series. The following Halachos are excerpted from the Sefer Meoros HaShabbos:
1. The mitzvah of Shabbos candles is fulfilled primarily with the candles lit in the place of the Shabbos meal. Eating by their light is considered Oneg Shabbos, as discussed above. Therefore, one should eat his Shabbos meal where the candles are lit. One may not leave them to eat in a different room or in the yard, unless there is good reason for doing so.
2. Since the meal must be eaten where the candles are lit, Kiddush must also be recited there, since Kiddush must be recited where the meal is being eaten. If one lights candles at home but eats at someone else’s house where candles are lit, his candles must burn until he returns home, so that he may benefit from them. If the candles go out before he returns, he did not fulfill the mitzvah, and his brocha is levatala.
3. Some hotels forbid lighting candles in the guest’s rooms or even the dining area, for safety reasons. Instead, they designate a common area where everyone may light together. If this area will not be used that night, and no one will benefit from the candles, it is uncertain whether she can fulfill her obligation to light her candles there. A competent halachic authority should be consulted in such a case.
Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud Friday - October 3 Lesson 1 If you have reason to believe that someone is planning to harm you, you are allowed to inquire about that person from as many people as is necessary. This is allowed even though you risk hearing derogatory information, since your soul intention is to protect yourself.
Lesson 2 If you inquired about someone to protect yourself, and found out that the person does have ill intentions toward you, you still cannot accept this as absolute truth, even though you hear it said by many people.
Shabbat - October 4 Lesson 1 If you found out someone has intentions to harm you, even though you can protect yourself, you cannot embarrass that person or harm them in any way. You are not even allowed to feel dislike towards them. You can only protect yourself. Lesson 2 Certain individuals have a habit of constantly asking people to tell them what others have said about them (just because they are curious). Unless you are sure the information is necessary for you to know to guard yourself, don’t ask others "what did s/he say about me?"
In Psalm 24 are two versions of the same verse.The first states: "Raise up your heads, O gates, and be uplifted, you everlasting entrances, so that the King of Honor may enter (v. 7)."The second verse closely parallels the first, "Raise up your heads, O gates, and lift up, you everlasting entrances (v. 9)."In the first verse, the entrances are uplifted, passively acted upon.Rav Soloveitchik, zt"l, explains that initially G-D’s rule is imposed upon man against his will.G-D’s dominion is absolute, independent of our acceptance of Him.The entrances are passive, yielding to the all-powerful G-D.The emotional response to this relationship with Hashem is one of terror and awe, characteristic of the world before the Messianic age.But this coerced recognition and fearful acceptance will yield to a different reality, "and lift up, your everlasting entrances."Here, the entrances of their own volition will lift up; man will welcome Hashem’s entry and open the door to let Him in.Man will voluntarily embrace G-D’s dominion. In the Messianic era, our relationship with Hashem will be characterized by love and commitment, not terror and awe.
5th of Tishrei, October 4, 2008
"Lift up your heads, O gates, be lifted up to become portals of the future, so that the King of Glory may come in (Psalm 24:7)."In Rav Hirsch’s interpretation, this verse expresses Hashem’s wish not only to be found in the natural world but also to be found in the human sphere, where His moral law will shape all of human behavior.Therefore, the gates of the world are called to "be lifted up" so that the King of Glory may enter.Man has searched for G-D in nature, away from the human communal sphere.Now, the gates are to be opened so that the King of Glory may at last enter into the domain of all human society.
Lesson 1 If you know for sure that someone spoke or acted against you, but it is possible that s/he meant no harm, you are obligated to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Lesson 2 It can be extremely difficult to think that the person who has told you rchilut has completely fabricated the story. In such instances, assume that certain details may have been added or subtracted which would entirely change the meaning of what was said. Also, the original statement could have been said in a tone of voice that wasn’t derogatory.
Rchilut = Reporting to someone what others have spoken about or done against them.
David speaks of G-D as Subject: "Your kingdom is a kingdom for all times, and Your dominion is for every generation (Psalm 145:13)."Hashem's kingdom endures forever; He is at once the past, present and future King.Every generation submits to His dominion.The Rav comments that despite or because of His grandeur, Hashem grants us a window of opportunity to Him.At this time of year, when we beseech Him for a good year, He is the Object of our petitions- "He does the will of those who fear Him, and He hears their cry and saves them (v. 19)."Hashem moves from His role as active Ruler of the Universe to being the passive object of our supplications.Hashem listens attentively to our prayers, hearing our cries and saving us.On Rosh Hashanah, we storm the heavens with our prayers and our requests for the new year, and Hashem promises to listen.
2nd of Tishrei, October 1, 2008
"The Lord preserves all who love Him, but all the wicked He destroys (Psalm 145:20)."David discriminates between the wicked and the good.However, he chooses not to contrast the wicked with the good, instead distinguishing between the "lovers of G-D" and the "wicked".David is teaching us a lesson for life.To be wicked is to hate G-D.To distort the world G-D has given, to use it exclusively for oneself, is to corrupt creation.Man was created to serve, to use the world as his vehicle of connection to his Creator.Since the wicked subvert the master design, Hashem in turn destroys them.But those that love G-D, who make Him their focal point, are preserved by Him.Goodness has love of G-D at its core, not self-love.To be good and do good, one must serve a master other than the self; one must love G-D and walk in His ways.
In the Musaf service of Rosh Hashanah, in the section entitled Malchuyos (Kingship), we recite the following verses from Psalm 24: "Raise up your heads, O gates, and be uplifted, you everlasting entrances, so that the King of Honor may enter.Who is this King of Honor? – Hashem, the mighty and strong, Hashem, the strong in battle (v. 7-8)."Rav Soloveitchik explains that the expression "King of Honor" connotes one to whom honor is freely given and one who is willingly accepted as King.This verse appeals to man, asking him to respectfully accept Hashem.But man, rebellious and resistant, responds by saying, "Who is this King of Honor?Why should I accept Him?"In response to this question, the psalmist states that Hashem is a mighty warrior who can coerce man to accept His will.Hashem already governs all of nature; man is subordinate to G-D’s control of the natural world.There is no power struggle between man and G-D; resistance to G-D’s will is futile.But Hashem desires that man voluntarily crown Him, accepting Him as King of the Moral Law as well as the Natural Law.On Rosh Hashanah, G-D affords us the opportunity to freely embrace His dominion, serving Him with love and awe.
Lesson 1 In the event that you happen to hear rchilut, you are not allowed to accept it as truth
Lesson 2 You are allowed to listen to rchilut when you feel that knowledge of the information will be necessary to protect yourself from future damage. However, even in such instances, you cant accept what was said as the absolute truth. You are only allowed be exercise caution on the basis of what you have heard.
Rchilut = reporting to someone what others have said about or done to them.
Lesson 1 Any statement that will cause hatred is termed rchilut even when the statement reveals no new information to the listener.
Lesson 2 - an example of the above lesson When Reuven already knows what Shimon said about him or did to him, but does not realize that there was ill intention in that statement or action, if you explain to reuven how the remark was meant to be derogatory or spiteful, it is considered Rchilut.
Thank you all for learning these lessons. I really appreciate it! In merit of your learning may you be blessed with health, happiness, peace, success, clarity, and all the blessings in the world. Shana Tova!
Tuesday Lesson 1 If Reuven slandared shimon in the presence of two people and one of those two people related this to Shimon, the second person is still not allowed to tell him the same information (Even if he does not add anything to the narrative). Hearing information from a second person will increase animosity.
Lesson 2 If you have spoken rchilut and want to right the wrong, you need to ask the person about whom you have spoken to forgive you. This applies only in cases where the rchilut was believed, since it is then bound to cause ill-will. If your rchilut was not believed, you need not ask the maligned person for forgiveness.
Wednesday - Lesson 1 Whenever possible, try to convince the person to whom you related your rchilut that you were mistaken: "Reuven didnt really say anything derogatory about you; I misunderstood him".
Lesson 2 We are not allowed to listen to Rchilut even if we are not resolved whether we will believe it.
Shana Tova Umetukah - (May you have a good and sweet new year!!)
(Rchilut - reporting to someone what others have done or spoken against them)
Lesson 1 If someone made a derogatory remark about another person, you are not allowed to repeat this remark to the subject, even if you feel that you would have done so all the same in the presence of the person you are quoting. This applies all the more so when the originator of the remark is actually present. The listener will more readily accept the statement to be true and much hatred will be caused.
Lesson 2 If you are told that someone spoke lashon hora about you. - you are not allowed to go to the initial speaker and ask "why did you speak against me to that person?"
Lesson 1 Certain people have a tendency to assume that others always speak against them. If you converse with such a person, you must be extra cautious. Don’t say anything that might possibly give them the impression that someone has spoken or acted against them.
Lesson 2 If a partner secretly planned to break of their partnership or engagement, but ultimately decided not to, you are forbidden to disclose this to the other partner. Such a report will definitely cause ill-will. This applies even if many people know about those plans.
Lesson 1 We are not allowed to remind someone that another person abused them, even if you do so in a roundabout manner. Although you might not overtly mention the abuse, it is considered rchliut to allude to an incident with the intent of arousing animosity.
Lesson 2 Whatever constitutes rchilut when spoken, is also not allowed to be written.
When we contemplate the past year with its horrific terror attacks, we can easily become disheartened and lose hope. David eloquently articulates his discouragement: "For the enemy has pursued my soul; he has crushed my life down into the ground; he has brought me into dark places as for those that are dead forever. Then my spirit enshrouded itself round about me, my heart within me stares into desolation (Psalm 143:3-4)." The constant threat of violence has been a soul shattering, life crushing experience for David. He has looked death in the face, and has lost heart. What then is his response? "Then I remembered the days of old; I meditated on all Your works; now I dare to speak even of a creature of Your hands (v. 5)." Not able to look toward the future with clarity, David turns his focus to the past and recalls all the ways in which G-D has demonstrated His power and dominion. David meditates on all of G-D’s works, and comes to the realization that his soul is also one of Hashem’s works; David is a creature of Hashem’s hands. David recognizes that just as G-D cares and carries all of His creations, He shall surely care for and carry David’s soul. This restores David’s sense of balance and renews his hope.
The psalmist teaches, "It is better to refuge in Hashem than to rely on man. It is better to take refuge in Hashem than to rely on nobles (Psalm 118:8-9)." Why does the psalmist repeat the thought, first referring to ’man’ and then the ’nobles’? In our day, with its extraordinary technological and scientific advances, it is easy to believe that man is invincible, that man’s reach does not exceed his grasp. The psalmist cautions us that man is limited, that he cannot guarantee or ensure our safety. But Hashem, who is limitless and omnipotent, provides us with a safety net and grants us refuge. While people may doubt their own abilities, they invest the rich and the powerful with superhuman abilities. Again, the psalmist cautions us not to invest the nobles with more than their due; they are not gods worthy of our worship or adoration. Hashem, whose greatness and kindness are both extraordinary, is the only being worthy of our service, devotion and worship. We can take refuge in Him, knowing that He will protect and sustain us.
Lesson 1 : We are not allowed to relate rchilut even in the event that we will be cursed and insulted because of our silence. Don’t be phased by the unpleasantness of the situation.
Lesson 2 : Someone asks you for information that would be considered rchilut: "what did s/he say about me?" or "did s/he vote for me?". What should you? If you merely refuse to answer, the questioner will assume that the person acted negatively against them. If you can avoid telling an outright lie, you must do so. Very often by simply leaving out a few details, your narrative will be free from rchilut. If its not possible, you are allowed to lie for the sake of peace. (You are not however allowed to swear falsely).
Rabbi Yose ben Yoezer was a saintly scholar who was martyred by the Syrian-Greeks. As he was being lead to his execution he encountered Yoyakim, a Jew, who abandoned his faith. Yoyakim was mounted on a mighty horse and remarked to the Rabbi, "Look at the horse upon which my master lets me ride, and the horse upon which your Master has made you ride."
Rabbi Yose responded, "If such great honor is afforded to those who transgress the Divine Will, then the honor bestowed upon those who fulfill His will must be infinitely greater."
"And who fulfills His will more perfectly than you?" countered Yoyakim.
"If this is the fate of those who uphold His will, then how much more infinitely dreadful is the fate of those who transgress His will," said the Rabbi.
The Rabbis’ words of truth singed Yoyakim’s heart like a burning fire. He immediately repented and was granted a share in the World to Come.
May this dramatic episode of redemption inspire us to swiftly liberate ourselves from darkness - and shine forth with righteousness - like the morning sun.
Implement: Envision the joy of instant enlightenmen
"Be quick and answer me, O Lord, my spirit [kalta ruchi] pines. Do not hide Your face from me, lest I be like those that descend into the pit (Psalm 143:7)." David expresses his need for Hashem’s speedy response to his spiritual crisis. Rashi explains that the expression "kilyon ruach" refers to "the destruction of the spirit." David is on the verge of spiritual collapse such that he needs G-D’s aid urgently. He begs Hashem to reveal Himself and rescue him or he will be as the dead, "like those that descend into the pit." But "ruchi" can also refer to man’s intellectual soul. In times of distress, the intellect is at a loss to explain what is happening. Reason and faith clash. David does not want to lose his belief in G-D; his intellectual questing soul wants answers from Hashem. He seeks an explanation that will allow him to see Hashem more clearly. In the absence of a Divine response, David fears that he will descend into the pit of despair and lose his connection to Hashem. We, too, seek Divine answers and pray to see Hashem’s revealed presence in our lives.
Be gracious to me, HaShem! Be gracious to me! For my soul takes refuge in You, and in the shadow of Your wings I will take refuge - until the troubles pass by.
In mortal danger, King David cries out to HaShem for deliverance from Saul, his pursuer. Just as a person who is crying out to be saved from a life-threatening danger repeats his plea, i.e., "Help! Help!" - so too, David calls out two times, "Be gracious to me! Be gracious to me!"
In addition, his double plea refers to two different heartfelt requests. That is, he begs HaShem, "Let Saul not kill me!" and subsequently he pleads, "Save me from killing Saul!"
He realizes that, save the mercy of HaShem, there is no escape from his hapless predicament. Therefore, he states, "for my soul takes refuge in You and in the shadow of Your wings I will take refuge."
Furthermore, he is crushed by his awesome troubles with an intensity that is beyond the capacity of human nature to endure. Therefore, he places his entire focus on coming close to the mercy of HaShem and His sure protection. In this way, he detaches himself from the unbearable pains that have come upon him. Even more, despite his plight, he is absolutely confident that HaShem will grant him relief and refuge, as implied in his words "until the troubles pass by."
When troubles converged on David from every direction, threatening his well-being in this world as well as his share in The World to Come, David bonded himself to HaShem. In light of this, his very troubles propelled him to seek and come closer to HaShem, his only sanctuary.
May HaShem bless all of us with a peaceful life. In the event that we do experience stressful times, King David illuminates our path. If we will but turn our hearts to HaShem in sincere prayer, He will protect and rescue us from all of our difficulties.
[Based on the commentaries of Rashi and the Radak to Tehillim]
TODAY: Ask HaShem to save you from a difficulty - and know that He is there to rescue you.
Lesson 1 : There is a general misconception that if no names are mentioned in a conversation, the dialogue is automatically free of rchilut and completely permissible. This is not correct. If the listener will be able to deduce the identity of the person you are referring to, even though you dont mention any names, your narrative is considered rchilut.
Lesson 2 ; When the listener already knows about a certain action but does not know the identity of the person presponsible, it is considered rchilut to point the guilty person out (even if you only hint through signs)
Rchilut = Reporting to someoen waht others have said or done against them. i.e. "Mr X toldm e you are dishonest"
Important Numbers
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