Lesson 1 : Repeating Lashon Hara that is common knowledge- is the same thing as saying lashon hara for the first time or in secret. doesn’t matter if its well known or not.
Lesson 2 : People often think its okay to do...Even if the speech was bad or content was simple. It is considered Lashon hara to mock or ridicule the speaker. Your opinion is subjective - and even if you didnt like what was said - others may have. the speaker can have a great influence on someone else.
Lesson 1 : If you have witnessed someone cheating or harming another person, and you are sure that s/he has not compensated the victim, you may relate this incident to another person for either of 2 beneficial and constructive purposes.
Lesson 2 : Continued from above - condition A: if what you are saying with all the victim in receiving compensation for their loss. or B. your narrative will prevent others from harm by showing them that dishonest people are held in disdain. It is also possible that the person you speak about will mend their ways by learning that they cannot get away with with such behavior.
Rav Hirsch offers us a beautiful insight learned from the natural world.In Psalm 147, the psalmist uses the natural wonder of water to illustrate how G-D's law guides and governs nature.Water is also used to demonstrate how nature responds unquestioningly and obediently to the G-D's dominion. "For He who sends out His command to the earth -- His word runs very swiftly -- Who gives snow like flakes of wool, Who scatters hoarfrost like ashes, Who casts forth His ice like lumps – who can stand before His cold?Who then sends forth His word and melts them, Who causes His wind to blow, and they flow like water; He declares His word, so varied and yet one, to Jacob and His statutes and ordinances to Israel (v. 15-19)."In order for us to perceive the speed with which water submits to the will of its Creator, the psalm cites the changes that water undergoes to fulfill Hashem's dictates.It changes in form from snow to hoarfrost, to ice, and then back to its original liquid state.The psalmist then concludes by stating that the G-D who bends nature to His will is the same G-D who declared His word to Jacob, a word that is one despite all its ostensible variety.Our G-D has communicated His one word, the Torah, which contains His statutes and ordinances.
Rav Hirsch offers us a beautiful insight learned from the natural world.In Psalm 147, the psalmist uses the natural wonder of water to illustrate how G-D's law guides and governs nature.Water is also used to demonstrate how nature responds unquestioningly and obediently to the G-D's dominion. "For He who sends out His command to the earth -- His word runs very swiftly -- Who gives snow like flakes of wool, Who scatters hoarfrost like ashes, Who casts forth His ice like lumps – who can stand before His cold?Who then sends forth His word and melts them, Who causes His wind to blow, and they flow like water; He declares His word, so varied and yet one, to Jacob and His statutes and ordinances to Israel (v. 15-19)."In order for us to perceive the speed with which water submits to the will of its Creator, the psalm cites the changes that water undergoes to fulfill Hashem's dictates.It changes in form from snow to hoarfrost, to ice, and then back to its original liquid state.The psalmist then concludes by stating that the G-D who bends nature to His will is the same G-D who declared His word to Jacob, a word that is one despite all its ostensible variety.Our G-D has communicated His one word, the Torah, which contains His statutes and ordinances.
Lesson 1 : If someone has cheated or embarrassed you, you are not allowed to tell others about it. Although you might claim that your sole intention is to disgrace the wrongdoer, your personal involvement will influence you to be motivated by the desire for revenge.
Lesson 2 : When someone refuses to do you a favor, you are not allowed to mention that to others. This would include instances where the person did not lend you money, give you charity, invite you to their house, or greet you in a pleasant manner. Mentioning your annoyance is considered lashon hora.
Lesson 1 Sometimes a person who has been to a strange city or community feels that s/he hasnt been treated properly and consequently disparages that entire city or community. This is a serious violation of lashon hora since there are a large number of people being spoken about at once.
Lesson 2 - speaking about a community contd. If you do think there’s an issue going on within a community (i.e. lack of hospitality), you are allowed to speak to a competent authority if your sole intention is for that person to constructively rebuke that community. All the laws of speaking for a constructive purpose apply.
Lesson 1 We are not allowed to speak lashon hora about an entire group, EVEN when we do not specify the names of any individuals. It is considered lashon hora to speak negatively about national or religious groups of Jews: i.e. chassidim, American jews, sfardim, ashkenasim, misnagdim.
Lesson 2 We are not allowed to say anything derogatory about Klal Yisrael (the Jewish people) as a whole. i.e. Jews are so.... or Everybody does ...
David directs his soul, "Return, my soul, to your rest, for Hashem has been kind to you (Psalm 116:7)." After experiencing persecution and difficulty, David’s soul is feeling battered. It is only normal to feel "soul fatigue" when one has encountered emotionally and spiritually wrenching situations. This "soul fatigue" can be countered by clinging to Hashem. Returning to G-D results in a spiritual recharge. We have a long history with Hashem, having personally experienced His concern and kindnesses. On Shabbat, we return to Hashem, shedding the demands of the workweek. The serenity and spirituality of Shabbat revitalizes us, and carries us till the next Shabbat.
"A song of ascents.Behold, bless Hashem, all you servants of Hashem who stand in the House of Hashem in the nights (Psalm 134:1)."The Malbim explains that the true servant of G-D never abandons his post, remaining on duty through the night as well as the day.In the daytime of our lives, when things appear bright and positive, we serve Hashem easily.The depth of our devotion is disclosed when we continue serving Him in the darkness and depression of our nights.Those who persevere in their attachment and service to G-D are His true servants.They, in turn, shall be blessed."May Hashem bless you from Zion, Maker of Heaven and Earth (v. 3)."
Please Say/Whisper the Words Out Loud
Lesson 1: The laws of onaas devarim (not causing harm
with words) applies even to parents when they speak to their children- even very
small children.
Lesson 2: Children as well, must be very careful
not to say things to their parents that will cause them pain.
Please Say/Whisper the Words out Loud Lesson 1:
If someone is forgetful or absentminded, try to remind them of things they are forgetting without insulting them. Lesson 2:
If someone has lost or misplaced something, even if it happens all
the time, again, try to help them, remind them, without being
insulting.
Accepting other people and their differences is one of the keys to observing the commandment of not causing pain with words.
Lesson 2
Belittling remarks from a teacher in the presence of one's classmates can be humiliating. Giving a student a positive attitude toward studying and gaining knowledge is more important than any specific detail a child may learn.
Lesson 1 Bringing up painful incidents of the past that cannot be changed will cause suffering without being beneficial. Lesson 2 Needlessly saying things to cause someone worry is considered onaas devarim (Verbal abuse). For example, "what if" statements. Or telling a parent who is sending off theirkid out of town for yeshiva/seminary things like "oh you dont know what could happen over there, people can get involved in all sorts of things..."
1: In this week’s Parsha, Eretz Yisroel is referred to as an “Eretz Zovas Cholov U’Dvash--a land flowing with milk and honey.” Whenever we think of Eretz Yisroel, whenever we walk in Eretz Yisroel, we should visualize this luscious flow in our minds. We may not be able to see it, but the Torah is making the statement so that we can properly appreciate it!
2: In this week’s Parsha, we find the mitzvah of Bircas Hamazon. Rabbi Moshe Goldberger, Shlita, asks if Bircas Hamazon is only one mitzvah, why is it that there are three brochos required by the Torah (the fourth brocha, according to most, is Rabbinic in origin), one brocha thanking Hashem for feeding everyone, a second brocha thanking Hashem for many other important benefits that Hashem has bestowed upon us (as we have previously noted, HaRav Pam, Z’tl, used to count them on his fingers while reciting them), and a third brocha asking for the return of Yerushalayim and the Bais HaMikdash?
Rabbi Goldberger answers that if we would have stopped after one brocha, we may have thought that the food is actually an end in and of itself. By the two additional brochos which the Torah requires, we are to remind ourselves that we are nourished in order to properly serve Hashem in all areas, and to reach our greatest potential. With that, we ask for the rebuilding of Yerushalayim and the rebuilding of the Bais HaMikdash, so that we can rise to the highest spiritual heights.
3: In this week’s Parsha, we find the second of the three Parshios of Shema, in which one accepts upon himself the performance of all mitzvos, and in which one recognizes the sechar v’onesh--the reward and punishment--associated with their performance or (chas v’shalom) non-performance.
As we recite in Shema twice daily “Heshameru Lachem, Pen Yifte Livavchem V’Sartem--beware for yourselves lest your heart be seduced and you turn astray and serve gods of others.” Rashi, in explaining the word “V’Sartem--and you turn astray”--writes that this means that you turn away from the study of Torah; and once you turn from Torah you are close to worshipping Avoda Zora. Upon only a moment’s reflection, the Torah seems to be taking a very big leap once one does not study Torah, he is a step away from idol worship. However, as we all know, the Yetzer Hora doesn’t seem to work this way. He works on you slowly and deliberately, nibbling away daily and weekly to make sure that his negative influence grows steadily, so that the changes worked upon you actually stick. So how here does the Torah describe the jump from lack of Torah study to idol worship (and its contemporary equivalents) so swiftly and conclusively?
The Chofetz Chaim provides a remarkable insight to explain. Imagine two countries at war. One day, one country wins a battle, the next day the other country wins a battle, and the battles go back and forth as the war continues. These back-and-forth victories can only be true and continue if one side grabs a certain stronghold, the other captures some soldiers, the first wins an air battle, the second wins a tank battle, etc. However, if on day one, one side captures all the ammunition of the other side, then the war, for all intents and purposes, is over. The second side has nothing with which to do battle.
The Chofetz Chaim says that our Pasuk teaches us the same lesson in a powerful, spiritual way. If a person forsakes the study of Torah (each man and woman, elder and child, in accordance with his /her own position), he has lost all of his ammunition to the Yetzer Hora. He has lost the war, because he has nothing to fight back with. Thus, he immediately leaps to complete defeat--the opposite extreme of Avoda Zora.
HaRav Elchonon Wasserman, Z’tl, H’YD, took the Chofetz Chaim’s (his Rebbe’s) words a step further. Chazal (Yerushalmi Chagiga 1:7) teach that even if Hashem would forgo the sins of murder, avoda zara, and gilui arayos, he will not forgo the sin of Bitul Torah, of wasting time from Torah study. Why is this stark statement so? After all, are these not the three cardinal sins that Hashem would be forgoing versus that of bitul Torah which does not appear to be anywhere near as heinous a misdeed? The answer, Reb Elchonon teaches, is that, incredibly, the cardinal sins all are capable of Teshuva. One can overcome these great failings through the Koach HaTorah, through the study of Torah. However, if the Torah study itself, a Jew’s weaponry in this World, is taken away, then he has nothing left with which to fight.
There is a tremendous lesson here for each and every one of us, as we rapidly approach the days of reflection and introspection. Do we want to enter Elul as a soldier without arms? Don’t we want to equip ourselves as much as we can? Where can we improve in our daily study (even for just a couple of minutes) after Shacharis? After Mincha? After Maariv? On the bus or train? Before going to sleep?
Also, what should we be studying? What area of Torah study have we pushed off that we really need to know or in which we need improvement? What Sefer have we never studied before that we really have been meaning to? What Mussar Sefer will we be preparing for Elul? What Halachos should we learn daily (especially that apply to us?). How can we improve in our study of the Parsha? There are so many new Hebrew and English Parsha Seforim. Have we acquired any of them? After we have made a mistake in Halacha, or we are not sure whether we said or did the right thing, do we learn what the proper Halacha or Hashkafa is in order to make sure that it will not happen again (i.e., Teshuva!).
As we all know, “Talmud Torah K’Neged Kulam--the study of Torah is equivalent to them all” (Shabbos 127A). Let us take heed of the words of Shema that we recite daily--so that we succeed not only in our daily battle--but in our life’s purpose and goal!
1. If soup was removed from a K’li Rishon(such as a soup pot on or off the fire) with a ladle and was then poured into a soup bowl, one may consider the soup bowl as a K’li Shlishi and add baked foods (such as matza, soup nuts or chow mein noodles) to the soup. (Halachos of Shabbos by Rabbi Shimon Eider, Z’tl, p. 290)
2. Cutting or chopping into large-sized pieces is not considered to fall within the melacha of Tochen (grinding). How fine an item must be ground in order for it to be considered Tochen is questionable. Therefore, when cutting vegetables into fine pieces, one should not cut them into pieces which are very small; i.e., he should cut them into larger pieces than they are cut in normal circumstances. Although some Poskim hold that if one is chopping vegetables into small pieces for immediate use it is permissible, others disagree. One should conduct himself preferably according to this view, and not cut fruits and vegetables into very fine pieces, even right before the meal. Similarly, some Poskim hold that not only is chopping or cutting into very small pieces prohibited because of Tochen, but even slicing fruits and vegetables into very small slices in length and width is also prohibited. The size of a slice is relative to the fruit and vegetable that one is slicing. (Ibid., pages 206 and 213)
3. When preparing chopped liver, chopped eggs, or chopped fish (e.g., tuna salad or salmon salad), if onions or other vegetables are added, the vegetables must be chopped right before the meal, and should not be chopped into very fine pieces. The use of a chopping knife is questionable, and one should use a regular knife or fork (Ibid, 217).
Attacking the motivation of others when they do good deeds can easily be onaas devarim (verbal abuse). For example, saying someone is only doing a certain kindness to get attention, or giving tzedaka for tax credit purposes.
Lesson 2
If someone is affiliated with a particular institution, be careful with what you say about that institution in the persons presence. Be careful not to badmouth, criticize, or put down the system or people who work there. This can make the person feel bad about themselves, and also change their perspective about that organization.
Statements implying that someone lacks maturity (i.e. "you’re so immature" or "i guess you don’t understand these things") are frequently a violation of the prohibition against causing pain with words.
Lesson 2 It is onaas devarim (verbal abuse) to make insulting remarks to someone about his/her cooking!
"R’ Meir would say, ’A person is obligated to make one hundred blessings every day as the pasuk states, ’What (mah) does Hashem ask of you except that you should fear Him (Devarim 10, 12)?’ Do not read the pasuk ’mah’ – what, rather ’me’ah’ – one hundred’" (Menachos 43b). The Torah is informing us that the purpose of our avodah is to bring us to fear Hashem. Our Sages revealed a specific way to reach this objective: the recitation of brachos on a daily basis. How exactly does one’s recitation of blessings bring him to fear Hashem?
Rav Wolbe explains (Alei Shur vol. II pg. 314) that for one to fulfill his obligation, he must mention both Hashem and His Kingship in every single bracha. Moreover, if he said "Melech" – the King, but left out the word "ha’olam" - of the world, he has also not fulfilled his obligation, for a king without a kingdom cannot be considered a king. Therefore, every single blessing contains recognition of the Heavenly Kingship. Additionally, many brachos continue, "the Creator of…" which gives us another opportunity to strengthen our emunah with the knowledge that He is the One Who created the universe and all it contains. If a person would reflect on the blessings instead of blurting them out of his mouth, one hundred blessings a day would be a more than sufficient means of bringing him to yiras shamayim.
Rav Wolbe continues, revealing the depth behind the blessings. The Gemara (Yerushalmi Brachos 6, 1) states, "It is written, ’To Hashem belong the land and its contents, the earth and its inhabitants.’ One who partakes of pleasure from this world before the mitzvos (i.e. brachos) permit it, is guilty of m’eilah. Rav Avaho said, ’The world is similar to a holy vineyard [which requires one to redeem its grapes]. What must be done to redeem the world’s pleasures? One must make a bracha."
This gives us a new outlook on the entire world. According to the first explanation in the Gemara, the world is comparable to a sacrifice which requires the sprinkling of its blood in order to permit the kohanim to partake of the animal. Likewise, the world is holy and, therefore, we are forbidden to indulge in its pleasures before making a bracha which permits us to enjoy them (despite the fact that they still retain their holiness – just like the analogous sacrifice). According to the second explanation, the bracha acts as redemption for the pleasure. We ’give’, so to speak, the bracha in return for the pleasure (thereby removing the holiness from the pleasure, just as the holiness is removed from the vineyard after the redemption process). However, both explanations are based on the idea that this world is in reality kodshei shamayim and it was given to us as a catalyst to bless Hashem. One hundred brachos a day gives us one hundred opportunities to arouse ourselves toward the realization that we live in a holy world and we must not indulge before we bless the Creator.
As with all aspects of growth, one can’t work on too much at once. Let us try to concentrate on the bracha of "hamotzi lechem min ha’aretz." Instead of blurting it out, picture stalks of wheat swaying in the breeze and acknowledge the fact that the bread came to you from the hand of the Creator.
"So long as the power is his [oozo], I shall wait, turned toward You, for G-D is my high tower.Since He is G-D, Who is merciful [chasdi] to me, He will anticipate me; G-D will let me behold what I expected, upon those that lie in wait for me (Psalm 59:10-11)."Rav Hirsch explains that David looks upon Saul as an instrument of G-D.The word "oozo" is the equivalent of "oz lo", meaning " as long as the power is his (Saul’s)."David understands the value of patience, of accepting that Saul’s power has been granted to him by G-D.This patience permits him to take the long-term view; it allows him to let go of his human need to control and to instead let go and let G-D.Therefore, David turns to Hashem, who is the judge of both Saul and David, and suspends action.David’s trust in Hashem is absolute, for He is his high tower, who has continually sustained and protected him.David continues his thought by affirming that Hashem is the G-D of mercy, who will anticipate his needs, and act to bring swift justice to those that lie in wait for him.
Lesson 1 It is important that we not insult someone for being different from us in personality, thought, religion, background, habits etc. If we do so, this can be considered Onaas Devaim (Verbal Abuse). Lesson 2 Making belittling comments to a person about their job or professional competency constitutes onaas devarim as well. For example, saying something like "only losers do that kind of job" or "people in that field arent too smart"...
Important Numbers
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