Chazal dispute what should be done when Klal Yisrael read the Megillah on Purim and subsequently the Sanhedrin added another month of Adar: Should the Megillah be read a second time on the fourteenth of Adar II? Reb Elazar ben Reb Yosi is of the opinion that it should not be read again. Since halacha dictates that one should not pass up the opportunity to do a mitzvah, the first Adar is the proper time to read the Megillah. However, Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel asserts that it should be read once again in the second Adar "because adjoining the geulah [redemption from Haman] to the geulah [redemption from Mitzrayim] outweighs the principle of not passing over a mitzvah."
How do we understand Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel's reasoning? Why is it necessary to connect the two geulos to each other? Rav Wolbe explains that not passing up an opportunity to perform a mitzvah is a manifestation of the trait of alacrity, while the idea of connecting the geulos is based on the trait of continuity, and continuity takes precedence over alacrity. Connecting the different times of the year to each other, turns the interim time periods into a single continuous timeline of spirituality wherein one climbs from one rung of holiness to the next.
This idea is common throughout the Jewish calendar. The three weeks connect Shivah Asar B'Tamuz to Tisha B'Av. The Shivah D'Nechemta (the haftoros of consolation read for seven consecutive weeks after Tisha B'Av) connect Tisha B'Av to Rosh Hashana, and the Aseres Yimei Teshuva connect Rosh Hashana to Yom Kippur. Yet, the most obvious example of this idea is sefiras ha'omer where we literally count the days in between Pesach and Shavuos.
Pesach has ended, but it is not over yet. Every Yom Tov is a stepping stone to the next Yom Tov as we climb the ladder through the year and year after year. How does one make Pesach a catalyst for continued spiritual ascension? One possibility is to take the fundamentals of emunah discussed on Leil HaSeder and crystallize them by learning a sefer on the topic. The Kuzari, Chovos Halevavos, Emunah U'Bitachon of the Chazon Ish and Alei Shur are just a few of the possibilities. With a small investment of time you can enjoy the spiritual highs of Pesach all year round!
* * *
The forty-nine days of Sefiras Ha'Omer are days laden with opportunity. It was during these days that Bnei Yisrael rose from the lowest levels of spirituality and reached the loftiest levels - climaxing with Kabbalas HaTorah, and each year one can tap into this spiritual wellspring. Conversely, the inauspiciousness of these days also seems quite evident since it was during this exact period of time that the twenty four thousand disciples of Rebbi Akiva died. So are these days auspicious or inauspicious?
Rav Wolbe (Alei Shur vol. II p. 396) explains that indeed both are true. Chazal tell us (Avos 6:2) "One who toils in Torah becomes elevated." If one's Torah study only produces a sharper mind and great knowledge but does not generate character improvement, then his Torah study is grossly lacking. The elevation produced through Torah is evident in the refinement and nobility of those who toil in its study.
The twenty four thousand disciples died because "they did not honor one another." Giving honor is the attribute which expresses the refinement of an individual. One who is not inclined to honor other people demonstrates that despite his Torah knowledge he has not become elevated. When Hashem revealed Himself on the night of the redemption from Mitzrayim, Bnei Yisrael experienced a tremendous, albeit fleeting, elevation. The following day Bnei Yisrael reverted back to their previous lowly state, and the days of the Omer were given to them to try to regain the awesome spiritual level which they had experienced. Thus, this time is opportune for achieving true elevation, and the disciples of Rebbi Akiva who lacked this critical aspect of spiritual elevation were punished specifically during this time period.
These are days that contain within them a generous dose of Heavenly assistance to elevate oneself and refine his character. If Hashem is offering us His hand, how could we ignore it?
ANSWER:
If we practice up on a Mezuzah - now this is for people who want to live successfully as Jews. It's a tragedy, we have Mezuzahs and sometimes expensive ones, and sometimes we remember enough to kiss theMezuzah, but that's such a minor achievement in comparison to what the Mezuzah actually must do. There's no question that the purpose is to make us think of the contents of the Mezuzah. To think Hashem echod as you pass by a Mezuzah, every time in and out.
Here's a man coming back from work and his nerves are ragged. Inside the house his wife has been dealing with little children all day long, and her nerves are jangled, and in one minute they're going to have an encounter. So he stops at the Mezuzah, and he stops for a moment and thinks, Hashem echod; think about Me, Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, that's what the Mezuzah is for. And he walks inside with the Mezuzah still in his mind, and he saves the evening.
Now let's say his wife as she's going to open the door for him, she passes by the Mezuzah too, there's a Mezuzah in the kitchen, and she looks at it too, both of them are armed. They have the weapons for this great battle, milchomo chazoko, it's a great battle. The battle of living properly in a house is a milchomo chazoko, and that's the way that idealistic Jews could live.
You should know, that if you put in efforts into the Mezuzah, the Mezuzah is going to give you surprisingrewards, it'll pay you back with interest. Adam mekadeish es atzmo me'at, mekadshim oso harbei, you put in a little effort and you're going to get out a great deal of results.
Good Shabbos & Chag Kasher V'Sameach To All
Questions from previous years
Question #130
QUESTION:
Why was Matzoh chosen to be the symbol of chipazon?
ANSWER:
Matzoh is the food, bread is the mainstay of a person’s nutrition. Bread is called the mashein lechem, the staff of life. The most important nutrition of a person is his mind. Because as we said before, the purpose of the whole story of Mitzraim was to createsiechel in us; deiah, emunah, understanding. That's what Mitzraim is for. We were in Mitzraim, and all the nissim were lamaan teidah, you should know. And just like bread is the most important item of our menu, so we have to know that the most important thing that we have to get out of life is emunah.
And therefore the Matzoh is the vehicle that brings us this lesson. So as you eat the Matzoh, chew the Matzoh and swallow it, and think of the lesson of chipazon the lesson ofmamleches kohanim. You're a kohain eating a korban minchah. Also by the way, Matzoh tastes good, too. As you enjoy the Matzoh and you say mechalkail chaim b'chesed, You’re feeding the living with kindliness; it's for a purpose, too. Bread as you eat it and you enjoy it, it gives you nourishment. It’s what the purpose is of you enjoying the bread: Ba'avur shmo hagadol, for the sake of His Great Name, ki hu kail zun umefarneis lakol, that He is the one that feeds everyone.
So as you’re eating the bread and it causes you to thank Hashem, bread has to give you emunah. If you eat bread without getting emunah, so the bread is wasted. It says openly: Hazon es haolam kulo, what's the purpose? Ba'avur shmo hagadol, for the sake of His Great Name. It means that we should recognize His Great Name and speak about Him. So the purpose of the bread is, to arouse within us a recognition of the wonders that Hashem performs when He creates bread.
Where does bread come from? Bread is nothing but carbon dioxide that comes from the air, mixed with some sunlight, and some water, and a small amount of materials from the earth; that's bread. And now it becomes a life giving substance called bread, that's Hashem. So when you eat bread it's supposed to give youemunah. So besides Matzoh which gives you all these lessons, Matzoh is also hamotzi lechem min ha'aretz. So you can enjoy the Matzoh, too, and think how good the Matzoh tastes. It's a pleasure to eat Matzohs, certainly, it's a good change from eating bread all the time. And as you're enjoying the Matzohs you're enjoying all the lessons that Matzoh and bread give you.
Question #177
QUESTION:
Ein maftirin achar haPesach afikoman, after eating the Korban Pesach you can not conclude with eating desert. Now today, we don't have the Korban Pesach so we eat a piece of matzoh called afikoman.Which means that after that piece of matzah we can't eat anything. Why?
ANSWER:
The reason is given as follows: When you eat the korban pesach, it was the end of the seudah. Pesach ne'echal al hasova, it was eaten at the end of the seudah. Pesach night first they ate everything else, and then they ate that kezayis, the piece of the Korban Pesach, broiled meat. They wanted that, that taste should remain in their mouth's as long as possible. The taste of the mitzvah should not be washed away by other things.
That's what the father says, when the chochom says, muh ha'aidos v'hachukim, tell us my father, something about Korban Pesach. The father says my son, I'm going to teach you things about Korban Pesach, about the Torah, about Hashem, but one thing I want you to know, what I tell you should remain in your mouth forever. The taste should not depart. Sometimes in the beginning the child is interested, but later on as he gets older, he's sophisticated, no! The taste should always be in your mouth. And so the Korban Pesach should remain as long as possible, even when you wake up in the morning after Pesach night, you still have the taste of the Korban Pesach in your mouth.
And that's a remez, that when you learned the great ideals that Hashem wants us to learn in our youth, ein maftirin, don't let anything wash it out of your head. Literature, business, whatever else there is in the world, watch out! Nothing should wipe out the lessons that you imbibed when you were idealistic, when you learned them in your youth.
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier of the Shmuz joined 250 couples, proud parents of families affected by disability, sharing a joint Shabbos together March 24-25 weekend at the Sheraton Crown Plaza Hotel in Stamford, Connecticut. It was a Shabbos of inspiration that fortified the parents with the strength to carry on daily with caring physically and spiritually for their loved ones—and themselves.
Rabbi Shafier invoked inspiration from his shmuz titled “Understanding Life Settings” which focused on some of the big picture issues of life, helping to understand “life settings” as they apply to each person. Why is there autism in the world? Why Down Syndrome? If in fact G-d is just, why not mete out talents and abilities in an equal manner to all people? Why are some people blessed with success and others not? Is there a reason for suffering in the world? What about pain? What about death? Rabbi Shafier addressed this using the backdrop of a famous event brought in the Talmud.
On Motzei Shabbos there was a beautiful Melava Malka which went on close to dawn. The highlight of the Melava Malka was its panel discussion, a feature returning for the third consecutive year. Rabbi Shafier was one of the four panelists that responded to the anonymous written questions sent by the parents on actual daily scenarios encountered in the regular course of special-needs parenting.
The four panelists responded to the questions, each with their own take and perspective, shedding fresh light and providing most-welcome clarity and direction. Guests went home from the weekend invigorated for themselves and their families.
The Shmuz is a Torah lecture that offers a worldview on major life issues ranging from working on our middos to learning to be a better spouse, from understanding the meaning of our davening to what our purpose is in this world. Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier is direct, daring, and downright funny, providing audiences with essential Torah principles packaged in an enticing, enjoyable way. The Shmuz is expanding its reach by launching a new Shmuz website. Originally designed for post-yeshiva working guys, The Shmuz now influences thousands of Jewish people around the world through Rabbi Shafier’s online videos, articles and live webinars. The new website can be found at www.TheShmuz.com.
Mizmor shir L'yom Ha'Shabbos, a song of poetry to the day of Shabbos. And then he goes on and forgets about Shabbos. In the whole song there is not one word about Shabbos; a good question. This question I asked, it took me many years to ask this question, not one word about Shabbos! When we want to talk about Shabbos, we take the prayer book and find a song, every song talks about Shabbos, all the songs are Shabbos,Shabbos, Shabbos, and here is one song that our pious king Dovid made a song, and the only place you find Shabbos is in the title?
ANSWER:
He understood Shabbos better than we do; I'll give you an example. This example comes from Reb Simcha Zisel zichrono livroho, he doesn't use it in connection with this. A mother sends her daughter to the store to buy something, but she knows her daughter is forgetful, scatter brain, so she ties a string around her finger and she tells her, make sure you don't lose the string. So the whole way the daughter is making sure that the string is tied tightly and she is tightening it the whole time and making sure it's exactly in position. By the time she gets to the store, she's so immersed in the idea of the string, that she doesn't know what the string was for anymore.
Now, we are told Shabbos. We are very busy with Shabbos, there's a big Shulchan Aruch, there's also a Gemara Shabbos, Shabbos is a very important subject and you have to learn it. It's impossible to be a Shabbos observer if you haven't learned the laws of Shabbos, because it's very important and very complex; everybody must know them.
But we're so busy, and rightfully busy thinking about Shabbos that we forget what Shabbos is all about. But Dovid didn't. And he told us what Shabbos is about. You know what Shabbos is about? Shabbos is the celebration that the Creator gave us the greatest gift that could be given: this world. Vayar Elokim es kol asher asa v'henei tov meod, Elokim saw all that He had made. He didn't merely say it was good, He said it was very good, we say it's very very very good sometimes, and maybe it is good but the Almighty when He says good it's already very good, but when He adds very good, then there is no limit to how good it is.
It's a very good world, it's not what I'm telling you, He said, the manufacturer knows His product, and He doesn't get any money for it either. Therefore Dovid starts out, he says tov lhodos La'shem, how good it is to give thanks to Hashem, ulzamer lshimcha elyon, and to sing to Your name You most high. You know what's good...lhagid baboker chasdecha, to relate at morning at length Your kindleness, v'emunascha balielos, and Your steadfastness to relate in the night, that's what's good. If you're looking for a career - you want to be a career man? That's your job in life: speak day and night about the kindliness and steadfastness of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, talk about how good the world is, that's a good career.
Talk about how good the rain is and how good the snow is.
Talk about how good the air is and how good the wind is.
Talk about how good the sun is, how good the day is, how good the night is and how good the moon is.
Ki simachtani Hashem b'fuelecha, You Hashem made me happy with Your handiwork, Bma'asei yodecha aranein, I sing at the deeds of Your hands.
That's what Shabbos is for, Shabbos is the day when we look at the creation because Shabbos commemorates the creation, and we see how good it is, how marvelous it is.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Reprinted from Rabbi Michalowicz:
Purim is celebrated this year on Saturday evening March 11th and Sunday March 12th.
1 – Fast of Esther:
1. The fast is on Thursday, March 9th.
2. The fast begins at 5:28 A.M. and ends at 7:07 P.M. Those who find fasting very difficult may eat at 6:52
P.M.
3. All adult males and females over Bar/Bat Mitzvah are obligated to fast.
4. Pregnant and Nursing women are exempt from fasting.
5. A person who is ill [even if it is not serious] is not permitted to fast.
6. One should not fast even if one only has a severe headache.
7. Children under bar/bat Mitzvah do not need to fast even for a few hours. Nevertheless, they should not be
given treats.
8. You may take medications prescribed by a doctor. One, who has difficulty swallowing pills without water, may
drink the amount of water required to swallow them.
9. One may rinse the mouth only if bad taste causes discomfort. Only a small amount of liquid should be used
while leaning forwards in order to minimize the chance of it being swallowed.
10. One is permitted to eat before the fast, provided that one explicitly states before going to sleep that he/she
plans to wake up early to eat before the fast begins.
11. Bathing is permitted even with hot water.
12. It is permitted to listen to music.
13. The special “Aneinu” prayer is said during the Mincha Amida by those who are fasting.
14. “Avinu Malkeinu” is said during Shacharis and during Mincha.
2 - The Half Shekel:
1. On the Fast of Esther [usually around Mincha time], there is a custom to give three coins to charity. Each coin
should be the denomination of ½ the standard currency in that country [e.g. ½ a dollar].
2. If one does not have the correct coins, he should purchase them [optimally for approximately $15] from the
charity box, and then put them back into the charity box.
3. All adult males are obliged in this Mitzvah. The custom is that a father gives on behalf of his sons, whatever
their ages.
4. The custom is that women are not obliged to give.
5. The money collected should be given to the poor.
6. If one forgot to give it on Erev Purim, he should give the money on Purim morning before the Megilah reading.
7. One may not use his “Ma’aser [charity] money” to fulfill this Mitzvah.
3 – Prayers on Purim:
1. We recite the “Al Hanisim” prayer during all 3 Amidas and for Birchas Hamazon. If one forgets to say it, he
need not repeat the Amida or Birchas Hamazon.
2. ‘Tachanun” and “Lamenatzeach” are omitted during Shacharis.
3. The Torah is read during Shacharis – before the Megilah reading.
4. One should not pray while dressed in a costume. One must dress respectfully during davening.
5. If a person is intoxicated to the extent that he would not be able to speak respectfully to an important official,
he may not pray. If he is only slightly intoxicated, to the extent that he would be able to speak respectfully to an
important official, it is nonetheless not correct to pray. However, the custom is to be lenient and allow prayer in
this state, although ideally he should wait until he is sober.
4- Work on Purim:
1. All forms of work are permitted on the evening of Purim.
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2. The custom is to prohibit going to work on the day of Purim. The Rabbis of the Talmud tell us that
whoever works on Purim will not see any blessing from it.
3. Work is permitted in the following situations:
• If not working will cause financial loss
• Work that is necessary for a Mitzvah
• Work that is required for Purim
4. One may ask a non-Jew to do all forms of work for the Jew.
5. Laundering is prohibited unless the clothes are necessary for Purim.
6. It is permitted to shave or take a haircut if it is done in order to look presentable on Purim itself.
7. It is forbidden to cut one’s nails.
8. The custom is to wear Shabbos clothes on Purim. One should keep his Shabbos clothes on through
the evening of Purim while hearing the Megilah.
5 – Reading /Hearing the Megilah:
1. Men and women over bar/bat Mitzvah are obligated to hear the Megilah twice – one time at night and one time
in the morning.
2. Children who are mature enough to listen attentively to the Megilah reading should do so. Preferably, such
children should be brought to hear the public reading. However, they must be properly supervised during
the reading and should understand that they have not been brought to Shul simply for the fun of banging at
Haman. Young children who are likely to cause a disturbance and prevent others from hearing the
Megilah should not brought to Shul for Megilah reading.
3. The earliest time to read the Megilah is after nightfall – 7:10 P.M. The earliest correct time to read the
Megilah in the morning is after sunrise – 7:34 A.M. The Megilah can be read all day long until sunset.
4. Before reading or listening to the Megilah one should have in mind that they are fulfilling the Mitzvah of reading
or hearing the Megilah. Additionally, the reader should have in mind to include all the listeners who wish to
fulfill their obligation.
5. Three blessings are made by the reader before reading the Megilah in the evening and in the morning:
• “Al Mikra Megilah”
• “She’asa Nisim”
• “Shehechiyanu”
6. One should stand when saying or hearing the blessings.
7. When listening to the blessings, you should have in mind that you are fulfilling your obligation. When hearing
the “Shehechiyanu” blessing in the day, one should have in mind to include all the special Mitzvos of Purim.
The reader should have in mind that he is reciting the blessings on behalf of the entire congregation.
8. If a person arrives to Shul in the middle of the blessings:
• If there is sufficient time, he should quickly say the blessings himself, taking care that they are
completed before the reading begins.
• If there is insufficient time to say all the blessings, he should say as many of the blessings that he can.
• If there is not enough time to recite any of the blessings, he should preferably attend another reading
where the blessings will be heard.
• If this is very inconvenient, he may listen to the Megilah without hearing the blessings.
9. A special blessing is made after the evening Megilah reading in the presence of a Minyan. “Shoshanas
Yaakov” is sung after the Megilah reading.
10. The listeners may sit during the reading of the Megilah. The reader should stand when reading to a minyan,
but may lean if necessary.
11. One must hear very word of the Megilah. If a person missed even one word he has not fulfilled his
obligation. Therefore, it is mandatory to arrive on time for Megilah reading.
12. If a person did not hear some words, he should immediately say the words himself. However, this creates a
problem since the reader continues to read the Megilah while the person is saying the missed words, thereby
causing him to miss further words. Therefore, he must say the missed words and continue reading until he
overtakes the reader, at which point he may resume listening.
13. It is forbidden for both the reader and listener to speak from the beginning of the first blessing until the end of
the after blessing. Parents must be aware of this when bringing young children to the reading.
14. There are four verses of the Megilah which are read out loud before the reader. They are the following:
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• Chapter 2, verse 5
• Chapter 8, verse 15
• Chapter 8, verse 16.
• Chapter 10, verse 3
15. In addition, it is customary for the congregation to say the names of the ten suns of Haman out loud.
16. It is a time honored tradition to bang / make noise every time the name of Haman is mentioned in the Megilah.
Nevertheless, excessive noise and tumult should be discouraged since this often prevents people
from hearing clearly.
17. In order to enhance the Mitzvah and make greater publicity of the miracle, both men and women should make
every effort to attend a public reading in Shul. Even if one can organize a minyan at home, it is better to join
the congregation.
18. If it is impossible for a person to attend Shul, he must hear the Megilah read at home from a Kosher Megilah.
6 – “Matanos Le’Evyonim” – Gifts to the Poor:
1. One must give one gift each to at least two poor people. The gift may be either money or food. The Mitzvah
should be performed on Purim during the daytime. It is preferable to do it after the Megilah reading without
delay.
2. One may give money to a charity collector before Purim if the charity collector will distribute the money to the
poor people only on the day of Purim for the purpose of fulfilling this Mitzvah.
3. Each person should be given at least the amount of food that is eaten at a regular meal or the amount of
money required to buy this. [approximately $25 per poor person]
4. It is recommended to give more than this minimum amount of money and amount of poor people. It is better
to spend more on this Mitzvah than on the other Mitzvos of Purim.
5. A check may be given if it can be easily exchanged for cash.
6. “Ma’aser [charity] Money” may be used for any of these donations, except for the minimum two gifts [valued at
$50.]
7. Women and children over bar/bat Mitzvah are also obligated in this Mitzvah. Although a married woman may
rely on her husband to give on her behalf, nevertheless it is preferable for her to perform the Mitzvah
personally. The same applies for the children. A practical solution would be to do the following: The husband
could give some money to a poor person or charity collector stating that it is on behalf of his wife. The poor
person / charity collector should have in mind to acquire the money on behalf of the woman, and she should
know that the procedure is being used for her. The same applies for the adult children.
8. Children aged six or seven should be trained to perform this Mitzvah. The above methods can be used as well
for them.
7 – “Mishloach Manos” – Sending Food:
1. On the day of Purim, one must send two items of food to at least on person. It is praiseworthy to send to many
people, but see 6:4 above.
2. Preferably, one should send food that is ready to be eaten immediately
3. The two food items must be different. However, it is not necessary for the items to require two different
blessings. Drinks are also suitable. One may send two different food items or two different drinks, or one food
and one drink.
4. The food should be a respectable quantity according to the standards of the sender and recipient. Therefore,
one should send a nicer package to a wealthy person than to a poor person, and a wealthy person should
send a nicer package than a poor person.
5. One should send at least one nice package to one person and any additional packages may be ‘token’
packages. This is better than sending a large number of small ‘token’ packages.
6. One is not permitted to use his “Ma’aser [charity] money” for this Mitzvah. If a person wishes to send several
packages to poor people he may use his “Ma’aser money” for all but the first package.
7. Women and children over Bar/Bat Mitzvah are obligated in this Mitzvah.
8. According to some opinions, a package may be sent on behalf of the entire family. That package should have
two food items for every family member sending the package. According to another opinion, only a husband
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and wife can send together, but children should send on their own. If children prepare their own packages from
food in their parents’ home, they should be allowed to acquire the food before sending it.
9. Children aged six or seven should be trained to perform the Mitzvah.
10. It is praiseworthy to send packages to Jews who know little about Torah. This will arouse their interest
in Jewish practices and increase love and friendship between Jews. In a similar vein, this is an ideal
opportunity to repair broken relationships by sending packages to people with whom one has ill
feeling.
11. One may not send a package to a mourner. If another family member is not in mourning, the package may be
addressed to the family.
12. A mourner is obligated to send one package, but the package should not be too elaborate.
13. If a person receives a package, it is praiseworthy to reciprocate and send one in return, but it is not an
obligation.
14. According to the prevalent custom, one may give the package personally. According to some opinions, it is
preferable to send the package via a third person. One may use a child as a messenger, but must confirm that
the package was delivered. A reliable delivery service may be used.
15. Anonymous packages should be avoided. The recipient should know who has sent them the package.
8 – “Seudas Purim” – Feasting & Rejoicing:
1. The main Mitzvah is to have a festive meal on the day of Purim. In addition, one should have a nicer meal than
usual on the evening of Purim.
2. The table should be set nicely for the evening meal. Some have a custom to light candles.
3. There is a custom to eat seeds and pod foods such as rice, peas, and beans. It is not necessary to eat bread
at this meal.
4. It is customary to eat “Hamantashen” with a filling made of poppy-seed.
5. The prevalent custom is to eat bread and beef at the daytime meal.
6. Some women have a custom to drink a little wine in honor of the day. It is not necessary for children to drink
wine.
7. One should set a spiritual tone for this meal by doing the following:
• Spend a little time studying Torah before the meal. There is a special Mitzvah to begin studying the
laws of Pesach on Purim.
• Have in mind that eating the meal is a Mitzvah.
• Relate the Purim miracles and sing praise to Hashem during the meal.
8. It is a Mitzvah for men to drink wine. According to some opinions there is an obligation to become dunk until he
can no longer distinguish between ‘Cursed be Haman’ and ‘Blessed be Mordechai.’ According to other
opinions, one is only requite to drink more than the usual, but not to the point of getting drunk. One should
then go to sleep and thereby be unable to distinguish between ‘Cursed be Haman’ and ‘Blessed be
Mordechai.’
9. The Sages certainly did not want people to make a fool of themselves and behave with frivolity and
disgrace. The intention is to come closer to Hashem, using joy to reach great heights of love and
praise for Hashem. A person who knows that intoxication will prevent him from making blessings or
praying properly, or will lead him to light-headedness, should follow the second opinion. Everything
that one does should be purely for the sake of Heaven.
10. It is preferable to fulfill this Mitzvah by drinking wine only. A person who wishes may have other alcoholic
drinks after some wine.
11. The main obligation is to drink during the festive meal. If a person wishes to fulfill the Mitzvah by sleeping, he
should drink a little wine during the meal and go to sleep after Birchas Hamazon. Sufficient time should be left
to sleep before nightfall.
12. One should refrain from drinking too much if alcoholic drinks are harmful to him.
13. It is customary to wear costumes and masks on Purim.
14. One should refrain from dressing in costumes of the opposite gender. The same applies for children.
15. If a person insulted someone while intoxicated, he is required to ask for forgiveness.
16. Although it is customary to have Purim ‘shtik’ [plays, skits, songs, etc.] – it is forbidden to insult or embarrass
people even in jest.
Why is it repeated three times that the Jews did not take any spoils, U'babiza lo sholchu es yodum?
ANSWER:
So why it's exactly three times, this I have to investigate. But why it's so important and has to be emphasized, was for the purpose of showing it was Am Kadosh. We say that, ki Am Kadosh ato La'shem Elokecho, it was a holy nation. They were doing a mitzvah of mechiyas Amalek, they wanted to wipe out Amalek as much as they could, and they didn't want it to be shelo lishama. If you destroy the Amaleiki and take his money then it's an ulterior motive. And it's emphasized; it was a kiddush Hashem to the Umos Haolam. The Umos Haolam saw that the Jew was not out for money; he was out for justice. Those who wantedhis blood, he avenged himself justly, and that's all. And the money was lying there for the people to take.
And by the way, it was good politics too. So when the whole populace came and the Jews allowed them free reign, the people walked into the homes of the slain Amoleikim and they took whatever they wanted, everybody now was happy with the Jews. So from all sides it was a smart move to do. Therefore, U'babiza lo sholchu es yodum, it was a kiddush Hashem, and was lishmo, and it got them in good with the Umos Haolam.
Question #23
QUESTION:
M'shenichnas Adar Marbim B'simcha. When Adar comes in we increase joy. Does it apply even after Purim?
ANSWER:
I want to say something to you. It applies to all year around, until next Erev Purim. Now I will explain that. When Adar comes in, you are expected to stockpile Simcha. You have to gain so much happiness, so much optimism, so much fire of enthusiasm in your blood, that it's going to last you until next year Adar. It doesn't mean that you have to stop Simcha. Truth is, if you try to create Simcha, at first it's easier. As the days go by, the effort finally weakens and subsides, because the Gevuros Hanefesh, their will power, finally weakens. So eventually people again, slip back into the humdrum of everyday life, and forget about Simcha.
Every year we renew the effort. But it doesn't mean that it stops at a certain time. M'shenichnas Adar , we renew the effort to gain Simcha. Adar, it's Purim and it's Pesach, we should continue all year round, like they sing in the Yeshivos on Purim. "A'gantz Yor Frieliech", all year you should be Happy. And that's why the Rama, at the end of Hilchos Purim, he says, Vtov Lev Mishteh Tomid. A man of a merry heart, is always at a party. That's how he concludes the laws of Purim. So when people see the laws of Purim, and they come to the end, they might be sad, it's finished with the period of joy. No, he says, it's just the beginning, you have a Tov Lev, it's Deah, you will learn the truth of Hashem , the truths of the Torah. You will learn how to live properly, then you are happy all the days of your life. It will be Kol Rinah V'yeshua B'ohelai Tzadikim.
Question #24
QUESTION:
What should be the attitude of Tzedaka, especially on Purim?
ANSWER:
I must admit I don't understand the question, but Tzedaka, you have to know, is taking not giving. The truth is, whenever you put in money in Tzedaka, it's a deposit in your account. When Munbaz, who was a prince of a wealthy house, a royal house, he inherited a great deal of property. And he started distributing his money to poor people, so, "Chuvru Uluv Echad Ubais Uchiv",(Baba Basra 11a) his relatives came together and said "Avosaicho Ganzu", your forefathers stored up all this wealth, and you are wasting it? He said "My forefathers stored up the wealth in a place where it wasn't safe. I am depositing in a place where it's going to keep". So you put money in the bank of Heaven, it's your money. All the other money is not yours, Oh No.
Here is a rich man, and he suddenly dies, or he slowly dies, it makes no difference. He becomes a pauper. By law he doesn't own a thing, by law he is a pauper. But when a man has put money in the bank of Heaven, he never can become pauperized, he remains rich forever. The money is there. And not only is it there, but is gaining great interest constantly, compounded every day. And therefore that is the attitude towards Tzedaka.
On Purim, Purim is a time, when we want to help first of all the poor people celebrate Purim, not only we should be happy, we want everybody to be happy. So that's why its important to help people be happy on Purim. If they need money, give them money. But in addition , Purim is a time to show, that we want to acquire the merit of being redeemed, we were redeemed by Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and Tzedaka is a redemption. Everybody knows the Passuk.."Tzedaka Tatsil Memaves", Tzedaka is redemption money. And therefore we pay redemption money for Pidyon Nafsheinu, for Pedus Nafsheinu.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
R' Kalman Lowenthal has been an icon in this community for many years. He has loyally catered many of our simchos and has been involved in many Tzorchei Tzibur initiatives from Hatzoloh to the Eruv, supporting institutions and more.
As he has been displaced as the official caterer of the BAYT, we have no doubt that Hashem will find other parnassah avenues.
In the meanwhile we are suggesting for us to all sign the attached letter as a matter of chizuk and moral support to him and his family, showing them that they have not been forgotten by their many friends. The letter has been already signed by leading Rabbanim of the Yishuv such as Horav Shlomo Miller, Horav M.M. Lowy, Horav Dovid Pam Shlit'a etc. to mention only a few. (Copy attached).
As we are trying to get as many names as possible. we would ask you to approach your friends and neighbors (aim for at least ten if possible). We do not necessarily require the actual signatures, rather the names of the people who agree. However, you do have to ask them and they have to agree. (Please don't include names of children).
As an act of hakoras hatov and simple mentchlachkait, take a moment and add your name or signature including the others you collected to the attached document or just as an answer to this email.
Tizku Lemitzvos. May Hashem show chessed and compassion to those who do so for others.
One of the many friends of R' Kalman Lowenthal.
TEXT OF LETTER
Dear R' Kalman Lowenthal
We were all profoundly dismayed and saddened when we heard that you will be leaving your position as caterer at the BAYT.
Throughout many years you have served not only the BAYT but also the Toronto community at large with great distinction, care in Kashruth and good taste to the benefit and pleasure of many. We all will miss your excellent and friendly service at the BAYT.
All the undersigned friends, grateful loyal clients and guests, thank you and wish you great hatzlacha and bracha in all your present and future endeavours. May we all share many future simchas together.
50% spinach
1 small beet raw cut into cubes
1 organic apple, seeds removed
1 lemon peeled
8-10 oz of water or better yet green cooled tea
combine in blender or even better nutribullet
With the Holidays behind us, many of us want to shed some pounds.
There are many diets out there, that might work on a temporary basis.
The best way is to educate ourselves about our body and learn how we can boost our metabolism naturally.
B. Vitamins are crucial for optimal health, handling stress, assist your body with carbohydrate metabolism and are crucial in working as a team member to weight control.
Detoxifying your body is another easy way to help control weight.
Lemon water first thing in the morning will help flush out unwanted toxins from the body
helps stimulate bowel movements and aids in weight loss.
Parsley also detoxifies the blood and aids in weight control
Keeping the glycemic level balanced throughout the day will assist with weight control.
schizandra berries and matcha powder will assist in this area.
Steel cut oats, barley, and broccoli will have high chromium which will keep glycemic levels balanced.
Adding more fibre will assist in losing weight as well.
A healthy lifestyle is the best holistic approach to losing weight and to maintain it.
Q. Is it permitted to daven in a multi faith room in an airport?
A. Beis Avi (4: 31), Shevet Hakehosi (6: 83), Menuchas Emes (3: 6: n.24) rule not to pray in a multi-faith space, so is it amply quoted in the name of Rabbi J. D. Zoloveichik zt'l. (See also Remoh O.H. 94: 9, on davening in a non-Jewish hotel).
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a is similar, he suggests to daven outside of the non-denominational room.
Care should be taken as an array of diverse faith symbols may be exposed at the entrance of the room.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
By Rabbi Michalowicz
Erev Yom Kippur:
1. During Shacharis, Psalm 100 [Mizmor Lesoda], Tachanun, and Psalm 20 [Lamenatzayach] are not
said. This year, Avinu Malkeinu is not said.
2. It is customary to perform the “Kaparos” ceremony. One takes a chicken or rooster and waves it over
one’s head three times while saying the prayer, which is found on pg. 2-4 in the Artscroll Machzor.
The bird is then slaughtered and given to poor people. Alternatively, one can use money instead.
3. Ideally “Kaparos” should be done on Erev Yom Kippur, but if one thinks that he will be pressed for
time it may be done between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.
4. Ideally separate chickens should be used for each family member, but in times of need, it may be
used several times.
5. It is a Mitzvah to eat on Erev Yom Kippur. The main custom is to eat two festive meat meals, once
around midday and again during the afternoon. It is preferable to eat chicken at these meals. Some
have a custom to eat fish also at the first meal. It is customary to eat “kreplach” – meat dumplings.
6. It is absolutely imperative that one receives forgiveness for sins committed against other people. This
includes all forms of interpersonal offences such as hurtful remarks, slander, damages, overdue
debts, dishonesty in business, not respecting parents and teachers, etc.
7. Ideally, one should ask personally by going to the person or via mail or telephone. However, if this is
difficult, or if the person will be appeased more easily by another person, then one may make use of a
third party.
8. Ideally, one should specify the sin he is asking forgiveness of. However, if one thinks that doing so
would upset the other person, one may ask in a general way.
9. It is wrong to be cruel and refuse to forgive.
10. All men are obliged to go to the Mikveh. They should optimally go between one hour before
Halachik Midday day [12:03 PM] and Mincha [Mincha in our Shul will be at 3:00 PM].
11. It is customary to dress for Yom Tov before Mincha.
12.During Mincha, the “Viduy” [confession] is said at the end of the quiet Amidah. See Artscroll Machzor
pg. 8-24.
13.The final meal before Yom Kippur is called the “Seudah Hamafsekes.” It preferably should be eaten
after one has said Mincha. One should eat light foods that are easy to digest. The custom is to eat
chicken rather than beef. The main custom is to refrain from eating fish, although some permit eating
cold fish. It is advisable not to eat hot spicy foods, eggs, or garlic, or drink wine. One should be
careful not to over-eat in order to approach Yom Kippur in a mood of fear and humility.
14. After eating, it is customary to say “Shir Hama’alos’ and to wash “Mayim Achronim” before Birchas
Hamazon. One should say Birchas Hamazon with great concentration and devotion. After Birchas
Hamazon the teeth should be cleaned well.
15. A person who wants to eat or drink after this meal should preferably say so explicitly before Birchas
Hamazon, or at least have it in mind. If he does not have this in mind, he may nevertheless eat or
drink again.
16. Women light candles no later than 6:21 PM and make two blessings: 1) “Lehadlik Ner Shel Yom
Hakipurim” and 2) “Shehechiyanu.” Women usually accept the holiness of Yom Kippur with this
candle lighting. Under extenuating circumstances, a woman may travel to Shul after candle lighting if
she had in mind when lighting that she does not yet want to accept Yom Kippur. In that circumstance,
she should only recite the first blessing over the candles and say “Shehechiyanu” with the
congregation after Kol Nidrei.
17. One should light a 24 hour Yahrzeit candle in memory of all deceased relatives. An additional candle
should be lit specifically to be used for Havdalah at the end of Yom Kippur. These candles are
generally lit by the husband.
How to Celebrate Yom Kippur – 5777
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18. Men accept the holiness of Yom Kippur during the recital of “Tefilas Zakah.” See Artscroll Machzor
pg. 38-48. It would be optimal for men to come to Shul at least 20 minutes before Kol Nidrei in order
to properly say this prayer.
19. Married men wear a Kittel the entire time that they are awake on Yom Kippur.
20. Women should wear Yom Tov clothes, but should not dress over lavishly. They may wear jewellery
that is normally worn on weekdays, but not those that are usually worn on Shabbos or Yom Tov.
21. The father gives his children a special blessing before he goes to Shul. See Artscroll Machzor pg. 32.
22. Married men should put on their Tallis before sunset in order to be able to say the blessing. If one did
not manage to put it on until after sunset, the blessing should not be said.
Laws of Yom Kippur:
In additions to the forms of work that are forbidden on Shabbos, there are five additional prohibitions:
Eating and Drinking:
1. All adult males over 13 years and females over 12 are obligated to fast the entire 25 hours.
2. Healthy children from the age of nine should be encouraged to fast part of the day by giving them
their meals at a later time than usual, both at night and during the day. Children below this age should
eat as usual. Since they are exempted from fasting, one may give them Yom Tov meals and treats in
honour of the day.
3. Pregnant and nursing women must fast like everyone else. It is strongly recommended that they rest
as much as possible in order to preserve their strength, even if it means davening little or nothing in
Shul.
4. A person whose life will or may be endangered by fasting, even in the long term, is absolutely
forbidden to fast.
5. If upon consultation with a Rabbi, you are told that for health reasons that you may eat, the maximum
quantity of solid food that may be eaten in one session is 30cc [one fluid ounce], measured by volume
and not weight. The liquid quantity is 40cc [1.3 fluid ounces]. A person may eat these quantities as
often as necessary, provided that they are in nine minute intervals. All decisions of eating on Yom
Kippur should be done in consultation with a Rabbi.
6. A person may swallow bitter or tasteless medicines in tablet, capsule, or liquid form, but not if they are
pleasant tasting. The medicine should preferably be taken without water. If one can not swallow the
capsule without any liquid, he should preferably use a bitter tasting liquid. Only as a last resort one
may use water [less than 1.3 ounces].
7. It is permitted to touch food in order to feed children or the elderly.
8. It is forbidden to rinse out the mouth whether with water or with mouthwash, even if one feels
uncomfortable.
Washing and Bathing:
1. It is forbidden to derive pleasure from washing any part of the body, whether in hot or cold water.
2. It is permitted to wash off dirt, but one should be careful to wash only the affected area.
3. When you awaken in the morning, the hands should be washed carefully up to the knuckles only [i.e.
to the end of the fingers], but one does not need to be concerned if some of the water splashes a little
further. One should wash each hand three times as usual. The stickiness in one’s eyes may be
removed with your already moist fingers.
4. After going to the bathroom, one should wash up to the knuckles only. It is sufficient to wash each
hand once.
5. Kohanim, who are washing their hands to perform the Mitzvah of blessing the congregation, are
permitted to wash the entire hand up to the wrist as usual.
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6. Children of all ages should be trained to follow the above laws, whether washing themselves or being
washed by their parents.
7. A person is permitted to allow his hands to become wet when washing food or dishes for a person
who is eating.
Applying Oils:
1. It is forbidden to apply oils or similar liquids even in a small quantity on any part of the body. This is
forbidden whether done for pleasure, cleanliness, hygiene, or personal comfort. Therefore, one may
not use perfumes or similar liquid cosmetics whether in bottles or sprays. It is permitted to apply these
products just before Yom Kippur even though one will derive pleasure on Yom Kippur.
2. It is forbidden to apply deodorants and antiperspirants on Yom Kippur, but is permitted before Yom
Kippur. One may use Talcum Powder to maintain personal comfort.
3. Children of all ages are included in these laws.
4. A sick person, who has permission to use oils on Shabbos, may do so on Yom Kippur.
Wearing Shoes:
1. According to the strict letter of the law, only shoes that are made of leather are forbidden, whereas all
other materials are permitted.
2. This prohibition applies even if only a small part of the shoe is made out of leather. Whether the
leather is found in the sole, the upper part in the sole, or just in the straps.
3. If you are unsure if the shoes are real leather or imitation, you should be strict and not wear them.
4. According to most opinions, one is permitted to wear comfortable sport shoes, etc. Some opinions
prohibit this. The reason we do not wear leather shoes is as an affliction that helps to atone for one’s
sins; and therefore such footwear is inappropriate. It is praiseworthy to try and follow this opinion and
limit oneself to thin-soled shoes that do not offer such comfort.
5. One is permitted to wear leather shoes for medical reasons. However, today many synthetic materials
are available, and one should try to obtain an alternative to leather if possible.
6. Children from the age of two to three should be taught to wear other footwear.
Marital Relations:
1. All physical contact between husband and wife is forbidden, both at night and during the day.
2. All the laws of Niddah separation should be followed and friendly chatting should be avoided.
The Viduy [Confession]:
1. One must confess sins that are contained in the Viduy even if he thinks he has not committed them.
In addition, it is proper to make specific mention of personal sins that one has committed that he feels
are not mentioned in the standard Viduy.
2. One must stand with the body bent slightly forward when saying the Viduy. [similar to the way one
stands when saying Modim] One should remain bent until after the words “Arba Misos Beis Din.”
3. One may not lean on anything to the extent that one would fall over if the object were to be removed.
One is permitted to gently lean on an object.
4. A sick or elderly person may lean on an object heavily if necessary. If this is too difficult, it is permitted
to sit when reciting the Viduy.
5. The custom is to strike the chest at the mention of each sin, during the “Al Chet.” One should strike at
the word “Shechatanu.” And during the “V’al Chataim”, at the words “She’anu Chayavim.”
Kol Nidrei:
1. It is customary to come early enough to Shul to say “Tefilah Zakah.” If there is not sufficient time to
say the entire prayer, then one should at least say the short confession and the paragraph expressing
forgiveness to other people. See Artscroll Machzor pg. 40.
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2. “Tefilah Zakah” was primarily composed for men to say. A woman who wishes to say it may do so,
omitting the lines that refer specifically to men.
3. One should read the Kol Nidrei together with the Chazzan. The annulment of vows, which is the basis
of the Kol Nidrei, is not valid unless one understands the words.
4. Women who recited the “Shehechiyanu” blessing when lighting candles may not recite it a second
time. They should just listen and say Amen. Everyone else should say the blessing together within the
Chazzan, finishing a little quicker than him in order to answer Amen to his blessing.
5. One may say the Kol Nidrei prayer alone at home; however one can only read the text that refers to
future vows and not past vows.
Miscellaneous Laws:
1. If one can not be in Shul, one can say Yizkor alone without a Minyan.
2. There are different customs regarding saying Yizkor during the first twelve months. If one does not
have a particular custom, then one should say Yizkor.
3. If a man removes his Tallis during the day, he only repeats the blessing when putting it back on if he
took his mind off the Tallis completely. [usually 2-3 hours]
4. It is permitted to smell spices on Yom Kippur. Many people do so in order to complete the saying of
100 blessings a day.
5. It is customary to stand during the entire Neilah service, as the Ark is open. However, one may sit if
they feel weak.
6. One should not socialize or be involved in idle chatter during the entire Yom Kippur.
Motzei Yom Kippur:
1. Under no circumstances may one make preparations to break the fast before 7:28 PM.
2. It is forbidden to eat or drink before making or hearing Havdalah. Havdalah is after 7:28 PM. The
exception is water which may be drunk before Havdalah, after praying Maariv or saying “Baruch
Hamavdil Bein Kodesh Lechol.”
3. One should say the Maariv prayer carefully after Yom Kippur is over.
4. The custom is to wish everyone a good year when leaving Shul.
5. It is praiseworthy to wash one’s entire hands three times after the fast since they were not washed
fully in the morning.
6. Women who do not pray Maariv must say “Baruch Hamavdil Bein Kodesh Lechol” before doing any
work.
7. This year, Havdalah has three parts:
• Blessing on wine
• Blessing on candle
• Havdalah Blessing
8. One should use the pre-existing flame that was burning throughout Yom Kippur as the Havdalah
candle. If one does not have one, he should try to obtain one from a neighbour. If this is not possible,
no blessing is made on the flame.
9. The custom is to say Kiddush Levanah either immediately after Maariv or after one has broken the
fast.
10. The custom is to start building one’s Succah or to at least do something related to its construction
after he has eaten.
11. It is a custom to arise earlier than usual on the day after Yom Kippur.
On Tisha B'Av, five national calamities occurred
During the time of Moses, Jews in the desert accepted the slanderous report of the 10 spies, and the decree was issued forbidding them from entering the land of Israel. (1312 BCE)
The First Temple was destroyed by the Babylonians, led by Nebuchadnezzar. 100,000 Jews were slaughtered and millions more exiled. (586 BCE)
The Second Temple was destroyed by the Romans, led by Titus. Some two million Jews died, and another one million were exiled. (70 CE)
The Bar Kochba revolt was crushed by Roman Emperor Hadrian. The city of Betar - the Jews' last stand against the Romans - was captured and liquidated. Over 100,000 Jews were slaughtered. (135 CE)
The Temple area and its surroundings were plowed under by the Roman general Turnus Rufus. Jerusalem was rebuilt as a pagan city - renamed Aelia Capitolina - and access was forbidden to Jews.
Other grave misfortunes throughout Jewish history occurred on the Ninth of Av, including:
The Spanish Inquisition culminated with the expulsion of Jews from Spain on Tisha B'Av in 1492.
World War One broke out on the eve of Tisha B'Av in 1914 when Germany declared war on Russia. German resentment from the war set the stage for the Holocaust.
On the eve of Tisha B'Av 1942, the mass deportation began of Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto, en route to Treblinka.
Aspects of Mourning: The Afternoon Before Tisha B'Av
During the afternoon prior to Tisha B'Av, it is customary to eat a full meal in preparation for the fast.
At the end of the afternoon, we eat the Seudah Hamaf-seket - a meal consisting only of bread, water, and a hard-boiled egg.
The egg has two symbols: The round shape reminds us of a sign of the cycle of life. Also, the egg is the only food which gets harder the more it is cooked - a symbol of the Jewish people's ability to withstand persecution.
Food eaten at the Seudah Hamaf-seket is dipped in ashes, symbolic of mourning. The meal should preferably be eaten alone, while seated on the ground in mourner's fashion.
When the afternoon prior to Tisha B'Av occurs on Shabbat, there is no Seudah Hamaf-seket with eggs and ashes. Rather, the regular Shabbat "third meal" is eaten, albeit without guests and fanfare.
Restrictions on Tisha B'Av
Upon sundown, the laws of Tisha B'Av commence - consisting of the following expressions of mourning:
1. No eating or drinking until nightfall the following evening.
Pregnant and nursing women are also required to fast. If one suspects it could be harmful to the baby or mother, a rabbi should be consulted.
A woman within 30 days after birth need not fast.
Others who are old, weak, or ill should consult with a rabbi. (MB 554:11)
Medicine may be taken on Tisha B'Av, preferably without water.
In case of great discomfort, the mouth may be rinsed with water. Great care should be taken not to swallow anything. (MB 567:11)
2. Other prohibitions include:
Any bathing or washing, except for removing specific dirt - e.g. gook in the eyes (OC 554:9, 11). (Upon rising in the morning, before prayers, or after using the bathroom, one washes only the fingers. See OC 554:10, OC 613:3, MB 554:26)
Anointing oneself for pleasure. (Deodorant is permitted.)
Having marital relations.
Wearing leather shoes. (Leather belts may be worn.)(see: Laws of Shoes and Chairs)
Learning Torah, since this is a joyful activity. It is permitted to learn texts relevant to Tisha B'Av and mourning - e.g. the Book of Lamentations, Book of Job, parts of Tractate Moed Katan, Gittin 56-58, Sanhedrin 104, Yerushalmi end of Ta'anis, and the Laws of Mourning. In-depth study should be avoided. (MB 554:4)
3. Other mourning practices include:
Sitting no higher than a foot off the ground. After midday, one may sit on a chair. (OC 559:3)(see: Laws of Shoes and Chairs)
Not engaging in business or other distracting labors, unless it will result in a substantial loss. (OC 554:23)
Refraining from greeting others or offering gifts. (OC 554:20)
Avoiding idle chatter or leisure activities.
4. Following Tisha B'Av, all normal activities may be resumed, except for the following which are delayed until midday of the 10th of Av, because the burning of the Temple continued through the 10th of Av:
Haircuts and washing clothes. (When Tisha B'Av falls out on Thursday, these are permitted immediately following Tisha B'Av, in honor of the coming Shabbat.)
Bathing. (When Tisha B'Av falls out on Thursday, bathing is permitted on Friday morning.)
Eating meat and wine.
Music and swimming.
Prayer on Tisha B'Av
Lights in the synagogue are dimmed, candles are lit, and the curtain is removed from the Ark. The cantor leads the prayers in a low, mournful voice. This reminds us of the Divine Presence which departed from the Holy Temple.
The Book of Eicha (Lamentations), Jeremiah's poetic lament over the destruction of Jerusalem and the First Temple, is read both at night and during the day.
Following both the night and day service, special "Kinot" (elegies) are recited.
In the morning, the Torah portion of Deuteronomy 4:25-40 is read, containing the prophecy regarding Israel's future iniquity and exile. This is followed by the Haftorah from Jeremiah (8:13, 9:1-23) describing the desolation of Zion.
In the afternoon, Exodus 32:11-14 is read. This is followed by the Haftorah from Isaiah 55-56.
Since Tallis and Tefillin represent glory and decoration, they are not worn at Shacharit. Rather, they are worn at Mincha, as certain mourning restrictions are lifted.
Birkat Kohanim is said only at Mincha, not at Shacharit.
Prayers for comforting Zion and "Aleinu" are inserted into the Amidah prayer at Mincha.
Shortly after the fast is broken, it is customary to say Kiddush Lavana.
When Tisha B'Av Falls on Shabbat
Here is a brief overview of the special conditions that apply:
The fast is pushed off until Saturday night/Sunday.
All other prohibitions of Tisha B'Av (washing, learning Torah, leather shoes, etc.) are permitted on Shabbat itself, except for marital relations. (Of course, regular Shabbat restrictions apply, such as anointing with cream and showering.)
Seudah Shlishit has none of the restrictions of Seudah Hamaf-seket, and may include meat and wine. However, the mood should be somber, should not include invited guests, and eating must stop before sundown.
Ma'ariv on Saturday night is delayed, so that everyone can say "Boruch Hamavdil bein kodesh li'chol," then remove their leather shoes and come to synagogue.
Havdallah on Saturday night is recited only over a candle, without wine or spices. On Sunday night, Havdallah is then said over wine.
Regarding the various prohibitions, some are lifted immediately upon completion of the fast (e.g. bathing, laundry and haircuts), while others remain prohibited until the following morning (meat, wine and music).
1. The Talmud teaches us that five tragic events occurred on the 17th of Tammuz, the most notable
being that: a.) The tablets, containing the Ten Commandments, were destroyed; and b.) The walls
of the city of Jerusalem were breached, leading to the destruction of the Second Temple. To
commemorate these tragic events, the Jewish people observe this day as a fast day. In addition,
the custom developed to observe some mourning practices from this day until Tisha B’av.
2. The 17th of Tammuz is observed this year of 5775 on Saturday evening and Sunday of July
23 - 24. The fast begins Sunday morning at 4:46 A.M. and ends at 9:41 P.M. One who finds it
difficult to fast may eat at 9:31 P.M. The purpose of a fast day is to stir our hearts in order that
we utilize the paths of Teshuva, returning to Hashem, and to serve as a reminder to us of our own
actions and those of our forefathers. These mistaken actions are responsible for the terrible
events, which befell our people. Remembering these tragedies should lead us to examine our
conduct and return to Hashem.
3. One should not mistakenly assume that the abstinence from food and drink alone fulfills the
requirement and purpose of a fast day. The true purpose of a fast day must be evidenced in one’s
improved deeds.
4. Pregnant and nursing women are not required to fast, if they find it difficult.
5. A person who is ill or suffering is not required to fast – even if there is no fear of danger to health.
6. One is permitted to eat before the fast, provided that one explicitly states before going to sleep that
he/she plans to wake up early to eat before the fast begins.
7. Although it is permitted to bathe, it has become customary not to take a hot shower or bathe for
pleasure. [One may certainly bathe or shower if one is dirty / perspired.]
8. It is proper for adults to refrain from swimming, unless it is needed for a medical condition or to
cool off on a hot day. [Minors, however, may swim.]
9. One is permitted to rinse one’s mouth, provided that you only rinse the front part of the mouth,
taking care that no liquid enters the throat area. One should make sure to rinse with less than 3.3
fl.oz. of liquid at a time. [There is a stringent view that permits this only when in distress.]
10. You may take medications prescribed by a doctor. One, who has difficulty swallowing pills without
water, may drink the amount of water required to swallow them.
11. When suffering from a severe headache, etc., aspirin or Tylenol, etc., may be taken. One may
drink water as described above in #10.
12. There are other restrictions that begin on this day, as it begins the period of the three weeks. This
will be discussed later on.
13. During the reading of the Torah on a fast day, the custom is that certain verses are read aloud by
the congregation. The individual who is called up for that Aliya should not read the verses aloud
with the congregation. Instead, he should wait until the reader says them aloud and read along
with him.
14. One who mistakenly ate on a fast day must resume and complete the fast. He may say the Aneinu
insertion during the Mincha Amida.
15. One, who is not fasting altogether, should not say Aneinu.
16. We add the Avinu Malkeinu prayer for Shacharis and Mincha, even when praying alone at home
without a Minyan.
Laws of the Three Weeks:
1. Although the Talmud mentions that the mourning of the Tisha B’av season begins on the first day
of the month of Av, the accepted custom amongst Ashkenazic Jews is to begin mourning from the
17th of Tamuz.
2. There are different levels of mourning in terms of restrictions, with the mourning intensifying as we
get closer to Tisha B’av:
➢ From the 17th of Tamuz
➢ From the 1st of Av
➢ The week that Tisha B’av falls [i.e. from the Sat. night before Tisha B’av]
➢ Tisha B’av
2
3. We do not make weddings during the three weeks.
4. It is permitted to celebrate an engagement with a festive meal during the three weeks, provided
there is no music and dancing. From Rosh Chodesh [1st of Av] one should only serve light
refreshments.
5. Dancing on weekdays is prohibited during the three weeks.
6. Generally speaking, it is prohibited to shave or get a haircut during the three weeks.
7. It is permitted to trim one’s mustache if it interferes with eating.
8. If one shaves daily, one may shave during the Three Weeks if one may lose one’s job or may
lose customers because one does not shave. However, if the only concern is that people will
make fun of him, one is not permitted to shave.
9. Shaving is prohibited during the week that Tisha B’av falls, even if one suffers financial loss.
10. Adults may not give minor children a haircut during the week that Tisha B’av falls. There is a
minority opinion that prohibits this for the entire Three Weeks.
11. Women may not cut their hair during the Three Weeks. She may trim the hair on her temples, for
the sake of modesty. A woman may tweeze her eyebrows and perform similar cosmetic activities.
12. A Shaitel [wig] may be washed /cut or professionally cleaned and/or set during the Three Weeks -
but not during the Nine Days.
13. It is permitted to cut your fingernails during the Three Weeks.
14. Playing or listening to music for enjoyment is prohibited during the Three Weeks. Listening to
recorded music is also prohibited. Playing is permitted on a professional basis in order to make a
living.
15. It is not prohibited to hear background music, such as what one hears while waiting in a doctor’s
office.
16. It is permitted to take music lessons if the lessons are not for pleasure and there will be a loss of
skill because of the time lost. The Kaf HaChayim writes: “Those who teach music during these
days, should teach sad songs, and it would be even better if they did not teach any music at all.”
17. There are opinions that permit singing during the weekdays. Everyone agrees that it is permitted to
sing sad or moving songs, similar to what we sing on Tisha B’av. For that matter, one should only
listen to recorded acappella music of sad or moving songs.
18. One may not recite the Shehechiyanu blessing during the Three Weeks for purchases or new
fruits. However, you may say it on Shabbat.
19. Therefore, one should not purchase items during the Three Weeks that would require that blessing
being said. [e.g. buying a new suit.] One may purchase new items that do not require a
Shehechiyanu. [e.g. a pair of new shoes or underwear.]
20. One should not purchase a car for pleasure or convenience until after the Three Weeks. One may
purchase a car if it is for work; however, the Shehechiyanu blessing should not be recited until after
the Three Weeks.
21. You may purchase a necessary appliance, such as a refrigerator, washing machine or bed, to
replace one that broke during the Three Weeks.
22. One should not engage in dangerous activities during the Three Weeks. For this reason, some
follow the practice not to schedule surgery during the 3 weeks, and certainly not during the 9 days,
unless the doctor insists that it cannot medically be postponed.
23. It is permitted to bathe, shower, or swim for pleasure until the 1st of Av. It is prohibited during the
Nine Days.
24. Although a parent should not strike one’s child at any time of the year, a parent should be extra
cautious and refrain from striking one’s child during the Three Weeks.
25. There are no mourning practices conducted on the Shabbos.
26. One need not decrease business activity, construction, or planting until the Nine Days begin.
Should a parent let her child experience on her own, so that when she finds the truth she'll be stronger?
ANSWER:
It's too expensive to learn by experience. If you're going to let a child fiddle around with a lighted gas range, she wouldn't have a chance to learn from experience. There are people who allowed their children to learn from experience, but their children weren't around anymore to use the experience. Therefore, you have to use your experience and transmit it to the child by means of words and by means of a strap. A strap is a very good conductor of experience.
You learned that to run in the street, to play in the street is not conducive to good health, but a child doesn't know that. When a child persists on running into the street, you are justified in being strict and chastising him; it's the biggest hatzoloh, you're saving his life. When Hakadosh Baruch Hu chastises us, He does the same thing; He transmits His experience to us too.
Therefore we can't afford to let anybody experience anything; vicarious experience is the best way.
I know a case of one rosh hayeshiva who made a very big error; he still thinks he's right. He said he allowed evolution to be taught in his high school. And when there was a complaint he said, better let the boys come in contact with it now, then on the outside, he wanted to inoculate them. So if he would inoculate them with arguments against it, maybe...but he was inoculating them with arguments for evolution because the teachers were apikorsim. So what kind of talk is that? It's just an excuse because he wanted to use the free textbooks that he gets for nothing. That's his excuse; it's only irresponsibility.
We cannot let our children experiment, once a child gets hooked on bad things then it's almost goodbye.
Good Shabbos To All
Thisl is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures.
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
“When the Holy Ark would travel, Moshe would say, `Arise HASHEM, and let Your foes be scattered. Let those that hate You flee from before You.’” — Bamidbar 10:35
In this posuk, Moshe Rabbeinu is equating hatred of the Jews with hatred of HASHEM. “Let those that hate You flee from before You.”
Rashi is bothered by the comparison. Why does Moshe’s call the enemies of the Jews, “enemies of HASHEM?” Maybe they are just enemies of the Jewish people? Rashi answers, “Anyone who hates Yisroel hates HASHEM.” It seems clear that Rashi assumes that the root cause of anti-Semitism is hatred of G-d.
This concept of attributing hatred of Jews to hatred of HASHEM seems difficult to understand. After all, if we study history, we see many reasons that Jews were hated – and they had nothing to do with hating HASHEM.
The Jealousy Theory
One reason that has been commonly cited for anti-Semitism is simply jealousy. Historically, it was the Jew who brought his economic wisdom and acumen to the various countries he inhabited; it was the Jew who became the adviser and confidante to kings and governors. The Jewish contribution to the cultural, scientific, and technological evolution of civilization is nothing short of astounding. Whether in academics, politics, the media, or the professions — from curing polio to discovering atomic energy, from Hollywood to Wall Street — Jews have had an extraordinary influence on human progress. It seems that in business, politics, art, theatre, science, and social movements, the Jews are at the head. With contributions as diverse as those made by Freud, Spinoza, Trotsky, Kafka, Jerry Seinfeld, and Albert Einstein, the Jew excels. From 1901 till 1990, over 22% of Nobel prizewinners worldwide were Jewish, even though Jews constitute less than ¼ of 1% of the world’s population.
This alone would seem like a logical reason for anti-Semitism. The Jews have proven to be smarter, more enduring, and more successful than the peoples of the lands into which they were exiled.
However, this isn’t the only reason. There are many more.
The Scapegoat Theory
Another cause held responsible for anti-Semitism is the scapegoat theory. To gain power or distract the population from their suffering, a monarch would look for a place to put the blame. What better a place than the eternally despised Jew? By arousing the masses to Jew-hatred, an individual seeking power could use this energy as a galvanizing force to bring together masses of unaffiliated individuals. We certainly have seen many instances of this during the past 2,000 years.
The “We Killed Their God” Theory
But there are other reasons that sound plausible. One is deicide – we killed their god. The average person would agree that is a sound reason to hate a people. After all, it certainly doesn’t sound very friendly, charitable, and kindly to kill god.
The Chosen Nation Theory
Finally, one of the most oft-quoted reasons to hate the Jews is that we make no secret of the fact that we are the Chosen People. As clearly written in the Torah, the Jewish people have been given a unique role to play amongst the nations: to be a light, a guide, and HASHEM’s most beloved nation. Is it any wonder that throughout the millennium we have been hated?
But these aren’t the only reasons. There are many, many reasons presented to hate the Jews. How does Rashi explain that anyone who hates Jews, hates HASHEM? Maybe it is simply one of the reasons above.
The answer – there is no answer
The answer to this question seems to come from the very question itself: why is it that the one constant throughout history is that everyone always hates the Jews? It seems that all things change. Movements come and go; ideologies pass with time; systems of governments evolve. The only thing that doesn’t change is that everyone hates the Jews. Rich or poor, powerful or weak, dominant or oppressed, the Jew is hated – and then blamed for causing that very hatred.
Beginning with Avraham Avinu almost 4,000 years ago, there has been an endless stream of reasons to hate the Jew. And that itself is a most curious phenomenon. In whatever country the Jews found themselves, they were loyal and industrious citizens, yet they were always hated and always for different reasons.
Despised in one county for being too powerful, then trampled in another land for being too weak. . . Segregated into ghettos, then accused of being separatists. . . Accused by capitalists of being communist, hounded by communists because they were “all” capitalists. . . Hated for killing a religion’s god, yet equally despised in civilizations that don’t worship that god. . . Called “children of the devil” and the devil himself. . . Blamed for the Bubonic Plague and typhus, for poisoning wells and using sacrificial blood for baking matzahs. . .
With such varied and assorted rationales, it seems that there is no shortage of creativity when it comes to hating the Jew. The only consistency in reasoning is: we hate the Jews. Why we hate them doesn’t matter. The cause of the hatred doesn’t matter. The only thing that really matters is that we truly, truly hate them.
What Rashi is teaching us is that there is no plausible reason for anti-Semitism. It can’t be explained because it makes no sense. When you look into every cause, not only doesn’t it answer the question as to why, you quickly find another circumstance where that cause wasn’t present, yet the hatred was still there – as powerful and pervasive as ever.
The Jew represents HASHEM
The pattern that emerges is that there is no logical reason for anti-Semitism until you focus on the real cause – that the Jew represents HASHEM. We are HASHEM’s people. When the gentile looks at a Jew, he sees HASHEM, and that image is not always attractive to him.
This concept carries a huge lesson for us. While we may forget our holiness and our destiny, the gentile nations are always there to remind us: we are different, we are unique, and our role is unlike that of any nation. As is quoted in the name of Rav Chaim Volozhin, “If the Jew doesn’t make kiddush, the goy will make havdalah.”
If we recognize our greatness and live up to our title of the Chosen People, we are then exalted, revered and respected. When we fail to recognize our unique destiny and absorb the cultures of the times, then we are sent reminder after reminder of our unique role amongst the nations – HASHEM’s Chosen People.
We are Jewish orthodox women coming from Chassidic, Litvish, Ashkenazi and Sephardic backgrounds. All of us have a child or spouse that is currently struggling or in recovery from addiction. We meet weekly to learn, share, support and give hope to each other. Our group was founded and facilitated by a JACS (Jewish Addiction Community Services) therapist with years of experience helping families and individuals like ourselves.
You have spent tireless years raising your children, endless diaper changes, wiping noses, helping them with homework, soothing their physical and emotional hurts, laughing with and loving them. Then - something went wrong. Something you thought only happened to other people’s families. Alcohol, drugs, and other self-destructive behaviors entered your child’s life, changing everything.
You sadly wondered, “What happened to my sweet innocent child?”, “What did I do wrong?” and “What can I do to fix them?”, “Why did this happen to me?” You feel confused, betrayed, guilty, angry and ashamed. You feel confused, betrayed, guilty, angry and ashamed. In moments of honesty you realize that your other children or relationships are suffering. Sometimes you falsely believe that once one crisis has passed the problem will go away, but it does not. Many parents and siblings feel as if they are being held hostage to the addicts’ behaviour and moods in their own home.Are you ready to change?
We know you may feel some shame admitting and talking about your situation as we did. When you first walk into to the meeting you may feel uncomfortable for a few minutes, but in exchange, we promise you that you will gain a lifetime of support and knowledge. You can come to listen or share – there is no pressure either way.
Please join us on Tuesday evenings at 8 p.m. at the home of one our member’s home in the Bathurst / Wilson area. To attend everyone must agree to keep our anonymity requirements. Please call JACS 647-347-1250 x227 (David) for more information. If you would like to talk to one of us before coming to the group, we will be glad to speak with you. All contact with our group and JACS is confidential.
David Kaufman
Jewish Addiction Community Service
Director of Outreach and Education at JACS
Addictions Therapist
Office: 416-638-0350 x227
Email: DavidK@JacsToronto.org
Website: www.jacstoronto.org
Is Someone You Love Struggling
With An Addiction? You have spent tireless years raising your
children, endless diaper changes, wiping noses, helping them with
homework, soothing their physical and emotional hurts, laughing with and loving
them. Then - something went wrong. Something you thought only happened to other
people’s families. Alcohol, drugs, and other self-destructive behaviors entered
your child’s life, changing everything.
You sadly wondered, “What happened to my sweet innocent child?”, “What did
I do wrong?” and “What can I do to fix them?”, “Why did this happen
to me?” You feel confused, betrayed, guilty, angry and ashamed. You feel
confused, betrayed, guilty, angry and ashamed. In moments of honesty you
realize that your other children or relationships are suffering. Sometimes you
falsely believe that once one crisis has passed the problem will go away, but
it does not. Many parents and siblings feel as if they are being
held hostage to the addicts’ behaviour and moods in their own home.Are
you ready to change?
We are Jewish orthodox women coming from Chassidic, Litvish, Ashkenazi and
Sephardic backgrounds. All of us have a child or spouse that is currently
struggling or in recovery from addiction. We meet weekly to learn, share,
support and give hope to each other. Our group was founded and facilitated by a JACS (Jewish
Addiction Community Services) therapist with years of experience helping
families and individuals like ourselves.
We know you may feel some shame admitting and talking about your situation as
we did. When you first walk into to the meeting you may
feel uncomfortable for a few minutes, but in exchange, we promise you that you
will gain a lifetime of support and knowledge. You
can come to listen or share – there is no pressure either way.
Please join us on Tuesday evenings at 8 p.m. at the home of one our member’s
home in the Bathurst / Wilson area. To attend everyone must agree to keep
our anonymity requirements. Please call JACS 647-347-1250
for more information. If you would like to
talk to one of us before coming to the group, we will be glad to speak with
you. All contact with our group and JACS is confidential.
David Kaufman
Jewish Addiction Community Service
Director of Outreach and Education at JACS
Addictions Therapist
Office: 416-638-0350 x227
Email: DavidK@JacsToronto.org Website:
www.jacstoronto.org
Q. What is the halacha regarding using electric shavers? Does lift and cut make any difference?
Thank you
A. There are basically three different opinions in regards to using electric shavers. Early Gedolim including Chofetz Chaim (Likutey Halochos – Makos 21a) was against using even mechanical clippers that cut the hair until nothing remains, considering this as the hashchassa or destroying facial hair that the Torah prohibits. However, scissors may be used to remove facial hair since they do not accomplish total destruction, as the hair is cut in between the top and bottom blade. Therefore, stubble equal to the thickness of the bottom blade of the scissors remains. Following this stringent position the Chazon Ish, the Steipler Gaon, and many other Poskim prohibited the use of all electric shavers.(Igros Chazon Ish 1: 197- 198, Hadras Ponim Zoken, Kovetz Teshuvos 32, Minchas Yitzchok 4: 113, et. al.)
However, many Poskim maintain that the violation of this Torah prohibition is not determined by the size of the hair that is left, but by the instrument used, and if there is direct contact of the cutting blade with the skin. Horav Moshe Feinstein, Horav Yosef Eliyahu Henkin zt”l and other Poskim permitted the use of ordinary electric shavers, since they function as scissors, utilizing two blades to cut. The inner blade of the machine, does not cut by itself, and must be assisted by the outer screen of the shaver. The screen traps a hair within it, and as the inner blade approaches it, the hair rubs along the side of the screen and they both cut the hair simultaneously. This may not apply to the “lift and cut” shaver. According to the company that manufactures them, a lift and cut shaver first lifts up the hair and then pulls it into the machine. Once the hair is inside the shaver, the inner blade cuts it by itself closely to the skin, cutting it off completely at skin level, thus achieving a very close shave. A similar problem may involve Micro-Screen Foil shavers. The Terumas Hadeshen, (quoted by the Rema, Y. D. 181: 10) maintains that when shaving with scissors, a person should be extremely careful to either hold the bottom blade still, using only the top blade to cut his hair, or to use scissors where the bottom blade is incapable of cutting by itself. The reason for this is because extra precaution should be taken to prevent mistakenly shaving solely with the bottom blade, even a minute amount, since this is equivalent to using a razor.
There is a possibility that in micro-screen foil shavers, the micro-screen foil itself has cutting edges that can cut by themselves. This screen is comparable to the bottom blade of scissors, since it touches one's skin. Rabbi Avrohom Blumenkrantz zt”l writes the following in his Pesach sefer "...The new problem being discussed today is that the micro screen shields are so thin that they on their own have a cutting ability. We tested it and found out that if you bring a hair through the holes in the micro screen shield and by just moving the hair without too much pressure it could cut the hair.
Other Poskim are even more lenient The Zomet Institute follows the recommendations of an article by Rabbi Shabtai Rapaport (Techumim 10, p.200.) He proposed the criterion for not being scissor like and prohibited, whether the blade is capable of cutting hair without rubbing against the screen that covers it. And his conclusion was, that in the machines with a metal cover screen the blade alone cannot cut the hair, therefore the cutting is permitted.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a is reluctant to permit outright the use of any electric shaver, reflecting the first opinion mentioned above, and he strongly recommends not to use the lift and cut or micro-screen versions. However he permits the use of trimmers that leave over a stubble that is minuscule
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit”a
by Rabbi Y. Michalowicz
1. Shabbos immediately precedes Shavuos this year. Therefore, one should ideally light a two or three day Yahrzeit
candle prior to Friday evening candle lighting, so that there will be a pre-existing flame from which the women
may light from on Saturday and Sunday evening.
2. One is not permitted to prepare for Yom Tov on the preceding Shabbos. Therefore, For this year of 5775, the
earliest time to make preparations for Yom Tov, light Yom Tov candles, and to make Kiddush on Saturday
night is 9:42 PM. (It would be more ideal after 9:50 PM or even more ideal after 10:12 PM.)
3. One makes 2 blessings on the candle lighting: One for the Mitzvah of lighting the Yom Tov candles and the other
“Shehechiyanu” blessing. Ideally, the women should light by the time the men arrive home from Shul. However, if
they did not, they may light the entire night.
4. One may sleep on Shabbos; thereby having the strength to stay up Shavuos night. However, one should not
express this before sleeping, as such a verbalization would degrade the holiness of the day.
5. One should ideally finish eating Shalosh Seudos before 5:09 PM in order to be hungry for the Yom Tov meal.
Additionally, one should ideally daven Shabbos Mincha before eating Shalosh Seudos. If one forgot or was
negligent and did not eat the third meal in time, it may still be eaten afterwards. However, a full meal should not
be eaten then.
6. There is a well known minhag to bring flowers into shul and one's home as a remembrance that on Shavuos we
are judged on "Peiros Ha'ilon" - fruits. However, one should not cut off branches from fruit bearing trees for this
purpose because of the Torah prohibition of "Bal Tashchis”.
7. Kiddush on the first night should include blessings of 1) Wine, 2) Kiddush, 3) Candle, 4) Havdala, 5)
Shehechiyanu.
8. Many have the minhag to eat a milchige [dairy] meal (and milk and honey) on Shavuos. However, one is also
obliged to eat fleishig [beef] to be yotze [discharges his obligation of] Simchas Yom Tov with meat.
9. In order to satisfy all opinions, it is preferable to have a meat meal both in the evening and in the day of both days
of Yom Tov [4 meals], and to have a dairy meal or snack in the day before your meat meal.
10. If one finds it difficult to eat meat so late at night, there are opinions that permit you to eat dairy meals at night.
11. All agree that you should have meat meals at least one time on each of the two days of Yom Tov.
12. If one eats milchig but not "hard cheese" (which requires one to wait six hours before eating meat) one need not
bentch and wash again before eating meat. However, one should wash his /her mouth well and the tablecloth
should be changed. (Other poskim require one to bentch).
13. There is a custom to stay up the night of Shavuos and learn Torah. This is based on the Midrash which says that
the Jewish people overslept the night before Matan Torah and Hashem had to awaken them to receive the Torah.
Therefore we stay up all night to rectify their oversight.
14. The Arizal [The Kabalist Rabbi Yitzchok Luria] writes that one who does not sleep the night of Shavuos and toils
in Torah is assured to live out the year and no harm will occur to him.
15. There is a compilation of Torah learning known as "Tikkun Lay'l Shavuos,” which has The Zohar and the writings
of The Ari'zal as its source, and many have the minhag to say/learn this on Shavuos night.
16. Generally women should not say the "Tikkun Lay'l Shavuos". However, some say that a woman who counted all
the days of Sefiras Ha'omer may learn the portions of the Tikkun which are from Tanach.
17. One who stayed awake all night of Shavuos should, after Alos Hashachar (dawn), use the restroom, wash his
hands and then make the berachos of "al netilas yadayim" and "asher yotzar", and listen to Birchas Hatorah from
someone who slept.
18. One who stayed awake all night should not make a beracha on his tzitzis. Rather, he should make the beracha on
his Tallis Gadol and have in mind to be yotze for his tzitzis with the same beracha. Someone who does not wear a
Tallis Gadol, should hear the beracha from someone else who will discharge his obligation.
19. One who stayed awake all night should listen to the berachos of "Elokai Neshama" and "Hamaveir Shayna
Mayeinoi" from someone who slept during the night.
20. One who goes to sleep after Alos Hashachar Shavuos morning (or on any day) does not say the beracha of
Hamapil.
21. To summarize, for those who have stayed awake all night, the minhag of Ashkenazim is that after Alos Hashachar
(4:23 AM) one goes to the bathroom, washes ones hands, makes al netilas yadayim, and asher yatzar, and then
listens to and is yotze [discharges his obligation of] Birchas Hatorah, Elokai Neshama, and birchas Hamaavir
Chevlei Sheynah, from someone who slept, and then one says all rest of the usual morning berachos for oneself.
22. While reciting Birchos Hatorah on Erev Shavuos, one may clearly stipulate that his berachos should be in effect
only until the next morning. In this case, he may recite the berachos on Shavuos morning although he did not
sleep.
23. If no person who slept is available, many poskim rule that the berachos of Elokai Neshama and Hamaavir Chevlai
Sheynah may be recited even by one who did not sleep.
24. One may not make any Yom Tov preparations on the first day of Yom Tov for the second night, light candles, or
make Kiddush until after 9:42 PM.
25. Second night candle lighting is done in the same way as on the first night. Kiddush has the blessings on 1) Wine,
2) Kiddush, and 3) Shehechiyanu. It does not have blessings for the Candle or Havdala.
ANSWER:
Bad memories mean - not sad memories, I'm talking about bad memories. A person once picked up a newspaper and saw a piece of tiflah, something that was foul and it went to his head at that moment, how do you get rid of that? That's important, how do you get rid of the wrong ideas? You passed a billboard, there are very bad ideas on billboards today sometimes. How do you get it out of your head? We follow the Rambam's advice: fill your head with good things so there shouldn't be any room left for wrong things. Now that's very important; your mind must be full of ideas.
When you walk in the street, are you thinking of Torah ideas? For instance, are you thinking how great it is to be a Jew, she'lo uh'sani goy? Are you thinking about your tzitzis? Ur'isem oso uzchartem es kol mitzvos Hashem. Do you ever think about any mitzvos when you look at your tzizis? Oh it's a pity, get in the habit, when you look at your tzizis think about something. Think about mezuzah, think about shmiras halashon, think about learning Torah, there are a thousand things, think about something.
When you see a mezuzah, look at the mezuzah and the mezuzah is saying Hashem echod, Hashem is one. What does that mean? He is the mehaveh, He is the only one that exists, and He made the world come into existence out of nothing, at least that much you should think. Now, I can't say every time you see a mezuzah, but sometimes the mezuzah should be able to remind you of something. It reminds you also to get busy and learn Torah, and when you're in the house at the Shabbos table, the mezuzah is looking at you all the time, and watching you.
You're sitting in the house eating, look at the mezuzah, it's watching you, watch out! Don't talk the wrong things! Don't get angry! Be polite, make a brochoh with kavanah, the mezuzah is looking at you!
Therefore that's how to get wrong things out of your head.
Good Shabbos To All
This is transcribed from questions that were posed to Harav Miller by the audience at the Thursday night lectures. To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
Important Numbers
