6146 - Rain On One’s Chasuna Parade -
Q. Dearest Rabbi. As you know we are about to get married for the second time in a small ceremony, yet we were told by some friends that it is better to avoid getting married on this month of Marcheshvan. Is that true and real, why? We would like to get married a.s.a.p.
A. The assumption is that this month is called MarCheshvan or the bitter Cheshvan due to the lack of Yomim Tovim. This reason is quoted in Sdei Chemed (Maareches Chassan Vekallah 23) and Nitei Gavriel (Nissuin 1: 48: 14) and others, although it lacks earlier sources. It is questioned in Betzel Hachochma (2: 60) since there are other months which also do not contain any days of festivity such as Elul, Tamuz and Av and are not called Mar or bitter.
Some Poskim contend that the word Mar, on the contrary has connotations of importance and worth as in: ‘Mar D’ror’ (Shemos 30: 23) or as in the customary title given to sages in the Talmud. It also connotes the word ‘Merachshin’ or lips which keep on moving with the echo of the tefilos of the Yamim Noraim (Minhagei Belz). Nachlas Shiva (4) mentions that in a sense, Marcheshvan may be seen as the first of all months, since it establishes the ‘Kevius’ or set up for the calendar on that year. According to the B’nai Yisoschor (Chodesh Marcheshvan, quoting Yalkut Melachim), the third Bais Hamikdosh will be inaugurated on that month. This is to compensate for the fact that Marcheshvan was the month when King Solomon completed the construction of the first Temple – though the dedication did not take place until Tishrei next year.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
Reviewed by: Hagaon Rav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
Published: October 26, 2026