6040 – Me or My Family First?
Q. See question above. Do I give priority to the mitzvot that apply directly only to me or to the ones that I can do with others, especially my family?
A. There are many essential details, that can apply to the above question, which make a great difference. Generally one should give priority to observe and perform a mitzva with many if possible, as when praying or learning Torah. Yet there are mitzvot that can be different. As a mitzvah that applies directly to oneself, for example, a father and his son have yet to be redeemed from a Cohen (pidyon haben); when we are in the situation where the father only has enough to redeem himself or his son, he is to redeem himself and then his son. (Kiddushin 29a). The same may apply to learning Torah. However since the particular details of each case could be very different and essential, a capable Torah authority should be consulted in complex cases.
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Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Yaakov Hirschman, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit’a
Answered by: Hagaon Rav Shlomo Miller Shlit'a
Published: August 8, 2026