Rav Wolbe quotes an astounding Chazal (Vayikra Raba 26, 2) that puts the importance of good middos in the proper perspective. In the days of Dovid Hamelech, even the small children were so proficient in Torah that they were able to explain each law of the Torah in ninety-eight different ways. Despite the generation’s greatness in Torah, because they spoke lashonhara, when they waged war against their enemies they fell in battle. In contrast, the entire generation of King Achav worshipped idols and, nevertheless, since they refrained from speaking lashonhara they were victorious in battle.
How could it be that the tremendous amount of Torah study did not protect the people of Dovid Hamelech’s generation from defeat? Additionally, why were there gossipmongers in the times of Dovid Hamelech; doesn’t Torah study automatically generate good middos? However, the truth is, with regard to spiritual growth nothing is automatic. One who does not make a conscious effort to work on himself, will remain deficient in that area. It is evident from Chazal that a deficiency with regard to middos is so great, that it overrides other mitzvos and tips the scales against the Jewish people.
Another example of the severity associated with being derelict in middos is the destruction of the second BaisHamikdosh. Chazal tell us that although those who lived at that time studied Torah, performed mitzvos and did acts of charity, since they were guilty of sinaschinam the Bais Hamikdosh was destroyed. This demonstrates the severity of bad middos to the extent that all the mitzvos that they did could not rectify their shortcomings nor prevent the calamity that such bad middos precipitate. This brings us to the realization that there is no way out, other than to make make a conscious effort to work on developing good middos. Such qualities don’t simply come by themselves, and when there are shortcomings in this area, the consequences can be catastrophic chasv’shalom.
Hatred has no place among the Jewish people – especially among those who spend their days immersed in Torah study. The Mishna (Sanhedrin 3, 5) tells us, "What is an expression of hatred? When one, as a result of his hatred, does not speak to another person for three consecutive days."
When we mourn the destruction of the Bais Hamikdosh – we are mourning the fact that it does not stand today. Our Sages tell us, "In every generation that the Bais Hamikdosh has not been rebuilt, it is as if the Bais Hamikdosh has once again been destroyed." Our generation has not been cleansed from the negative trait of hatred. During the three weeks leading up to Tisha B’av, and all the more so on Tisha B’av itself, we should make a conscious effort to purge ourselves from sinaschinam, restore harmony to those relationships that were neglected and once again talk to those people with whom we had resolved not to speak. If the amount of sinaschinam amongst Bnei Yisroel is diminished as a result of Tisha B’av – then the fast will have been worthwhile.
Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud Lesson 1 So what would be the positive approach to approval seeking? If you take an objective look at the tendency to seek approval, you will see how much someone loses out by it. When we learn to keep our major focus on more elevated motivations for what we do, we will gain in many ways.
Lesson 2 We are not allowed to praise someone when the praise implies a deficiency in another aspect of the persons character. For example, saying something like "Yoily tries so hard to understand the lesson". This isnt allowed if it is said in a manner that implies that he is not clever or has to work extra hard to understand.
Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud Lesson 1 If you have a tendency to say things impulsively, you are likely to say many things that you shouldn’t have said. Without even realizing it, many peoples feelings can be hurt. Its important to remember to think before we speak. Keep asking yourself "will i cause anyone pain by what i plan to say?
Lesson 2 We should not praise someone if they will ultimately suffer from our praise. For example, Suri’s employer gave her an extra large bonus. Suri shouldn’t tell her co-workers, "The boss is a great person, this week she gave me double my usual salary". This can cause others to resent or speak badly of her as well as perhaps impact her relationships with her coworkers and boss.
1. A Door Opener. If one’s door knob falls off on Shabbos, it is prohibited to even loosely place the doorknob back in the handle to open the door because (i) it resembles the melacha of boneh--building; and (ii) the doorknob is muktzeh. There is also the possibility that a person might continue to completely rebuild it (shemah yetokah). Instead, one should use a knife, bobby pin, handle of a spoon, or, if necessary, a screwdriver to open the door (The 39 Melachos, Rabbi Dovid Ribiat, Shlita, Volume IV, page 1090).
2. Shabbos Bows. One is permitted to make bows on Shabbos, but only for items which typically would come apart on Shabbos (i.e., are not meant to last more than one day), such as shoe laces. Accordingly, when one’s trash bag is full, he should not close it by tying a bow on top, since he never intends to open it afterwards (Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim 317, Mishne Berurah, seif katan 29).
3. Shabbos Nap. The Mishne Berurah (Orach Chayim 8, seif katan 42) writes that if one naps during the day, one should leave his tzitzis on, or at least cover himself with his tzitzis, because there is a Machlokes Haposkim as to whether sleeping is a “hesech hadaas,” requiring a new brocha on the tzitzis. Note: One should consult with his Rav as to the necessity of making a new brocha of Al Mitzvas Tzitzis when putting back on his tzitzis (and certainly when putting on a specially-designated pair of “Shabbos tzitzis”) after bathing on Erev Shabbos.
Additional Note: The Mishne Berurah (Orach Chayim 8, seif katan 26) makes the following incredible statement: “It appears from Kesuvim that the Jews who will be left at the End of Days will be metzuyanim in the mitzvah of tzitzis, as the posuk states…and as Chazal teach….” It would seem that there is no better time than now to be especially careful and exacting in the performance of this mitzvah.
Chazal (Taanis 29A) teach that on the Seventh Day of Av the enemy entered the Heichal, the Holy, and mocked and defiled Hashem and the Jews for three days, until they set fire to the Bais HaMikdosh.
The Nefesh HaChaim (1:4) comments on this as follows: “...No Jewish person should, Chas V’Shalom, think--who am I and what can I accomplish with my lowly deeds? Rather, he should know and understand that his specific deeds, words, and thoughts, at every hour and minute of the day are never lost. In fact, how great, how very great and lofty are his deeds, as each one rises to the “Govhei Meromim”--to the highest of heights in the heavens above.”
He continues: “And in truth, one who understands this fundamental principle well will recognize how impactful a sin really is, for the destruction it wrecks in the higher worlds is far greater than the destruction brought about by Nevuchadnezar and Titus. You see, Nevuchadnezar and Titus did not with their deeds ruin or even blemish anything in the above, for they are incapable of doing so....”
Thus, whatever blasphemous and immoral acts were committed by the likes of Titus in the holiest of places is trifle and insignificant compared to an inappropriate thought, or perhaps some misplaced jealousy, anger, or Lashon Hora on the part of a Jew, which can stir the Heavens above. In truth, we already all know that it was truly our sins, and not the actions of Titus, that destroyed the Bais HaMikdosh. Perhaps we did not previously appreciate the degree of the insignificance of his actions. But, then, isn’t our responsibility too great? Isn’t it too much for us to know that our thoughts, let alone our actions, so severely impact upon the Heavens above?
Actually, it is really only a matter of avoiding getting lost in the forest among the trees. We must take every action--or even thought--on its own value. We should try to strengthen, encourage and develop each and every positive thought that we may have, and as quickly as possible banish the negative and unproductive ones. Chazal teach (Succah 52A) that in the End of Days the Yetzer Hora will appear to the Tzaddik as a mountain. The Tzaddik will exclaim “How was I able to overcome this great obstacle?” The answer will be--because you treated each confrontation (each nisayon)--each thought and action not as a mountain too hard to climb, but as a mere strand of hair to be readily overcome.
The mightiest leaders in world history and their accomplishments pale in their utter insignificance to those strands of hair we overcome daily. Tisha B’Av and the days that immediately precede it are not only days of mourning, but days of Teshuva. We should take the time over the next few days to appreciate, and to place a greater value upon, the sheer importance of our individual, stand-alone, thoughts and actions.
Just one more proper thought or deed could very truly rebuild--in a much more beautiful and permanent way--that which Nevuchadnezar and Titus think they destroyed.
Special Note Five: The Gemara (Megilla 21A) teaches that Moshe Rabbeinu would learn the more difficult laws and concepts of the Torah sitting down.
If we have to sit down this Tisha B’Av, we should take the time out to go over in our mind some of the difficult concepts that we tend to ignore, or at least avoid, during the rest of the year—the chorbons and tzaros that have accompanied us through the ages and into our day.
Can we not shed a tear over: • The pain of the Shechina over the chillul Hashem of the Galus (the Father’s pain is greater than the child’s) • The void left by the Beis Hamikdosh that is not with us and the concomitant void of sanctity within us (we could be closer to angels, and not closer to animals) • The honor of Klal Yisroel that has been cast to the ground and trampled upon • The hundreds of thousands of Russian Jews who have been numbed by Communism even after its downfall • The sorry hatred of secular Jews to Torah Judaism • The Merkaz HaRav Massacre • The Tractor Terror • Gush Katif and Sderot • The bombing of Bus Number 2 • The Crusades • The Pogroms • The 1648-1649 Massacres • The Holocaust • All of the unnecessary sickness and suffering for 2000 years (multiplied by each second of pain) • The desolation and ruination of the Har Habayis, Har Hazeisim, Chevron, Tevria… • Sinas Chinam--which includes smiling at the mishap of another, failing to properly rejoice at another’s simcha, and finding it hard to accept another’s honor and success • The fact that we are so numbed to holiness and sanctity • The Jews who do not even know that Tisha B’Av exists • The Jews who know that Tisha B’Av exists and do not grow in their resolve to do something to end this Chorban as soon as possible
May our prayers for consolation be accepted by Hakodesh Boruch Hu speedily and in our days--today!
-------------------------- Hakhel MIS --------------------------
Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud Lesson 1 Many people find it annoying when someone is continuously motivated by the need for honor and approval of others. They will therefor make nasty comments to insult such a person. This can be very painful since the trait of seeking approval makes this person more vulnerable than others to disapproval. The need for approval is also based on ones need for affection and closeness with others. In a world where people would be kind and understanding to each individual, the need for approval would be decreased.
Lesson 2 We are not supposed to praise someone excessively, even if the listeners don’t dislike them. It is likely that we will add something derogatory at the end of our praise. Also, excessive praise can easily encourage the listener to try and refute us by mentioning the faults of the person we are praising.
Lesson 1 When someone asks you a question, s/he is making themselves vulnerable. They are admitting that they don’t know something. Some people feel so awkward about asking questions that they avoid it at all costs. Its important to be sensitive to the questioners feelings. Saying things like "that was a stupid question..." violates the Torah command not to inflict pain with words. This will intimidate the person and prevent them from asking for vital info in the future.
Lesson 2
It is considered avak lashon hora (a tinge of lashon hora) to praise a person in the presence of people who dislike them. This praise can provoke the listener to speak lashon hora. Even if the statement doesn’t contain praise, you shouldn’t even mention a persons name in the presence of those who dislike them.
Lesson 1 Everyone needs to be valued and its a tremendous kindness to express appreciation to others. Hard work becomes much easier when you are appreciated for your efforts. Unfortunately, most people find it easier to criticize than to show appreciation.
Lesson 2 Implying someone has done something improper without specifying the particular act would be considered avak lashon hora (a tinge of lashon hora). This could arouse the curiosity of the listener with the result that the lashon hora may end up being spoken. For example, saying statements like "she’s changed" or "who would have imagined he would end up the way he did?"
As Rabbi Yochanon ben Zakkai was traveling, he noticed a poor woman picking grains of barley from a pile of garbage. She told the Rabbi that she is the daughter of Nakdimon ben Gurion, who was at one time the wealthiest man in Israel. When Rabbi Yochanon heard of this tragedy he cried out, "Happy are the People of Israel - When we fulfill HaShem’s will he protects us from the strongest nation; and when we don’t do HaShem’s will, He hands us over to the lowest nation."
We understand why Rabbi Yochanon said, "Happy are the People of Israel in a time when HaShem protects them from every nation." But why did he also say, "Happy are the People of Israel because when we don’t fulfill HaShem’s will, He hands us over to the lowest nation."
When a child misbehaves, the father will talk to the child and explain to him what he did wrong. In this case, the child knows that his father wants him to improve himself. As soon as the son shows the father that he understands his mistake, his father forgives and forgets. Whereas, if the child does something so awful that the father refuses to talk to him, the child has no way to know why his father is so upset. Even worse, the child has no way to reconcile himself with his father.
HaShem always conducts Himself with the People of Israel like the father, who encourages his son to correct his ways. In other words, He never severs His relationship with Klal Yisrael. One of the ways that we recognize that HaShem did not give up on us, is by the unusual turn of events in Jewish history. The sore troubles that we have endured, clearly demonstrates that HaShem is "talking to us" and He has not abandoned us to the natural course of events.
During these days before the Ninth of Av, may we realize that HaShem is next to us. As soon as we correct our ways, He will bring the final redemption and rebuild the Holy Temple. [Based on Lev Eliyahu]
TODAY: Know that HaShem is with you and will never leave you. He will always readily accept your desire to improve.
Lesson 1 It
is very easy to learn these lessons and think about how other people
insult and cause pain with their words. It is easy to remember times
when you have been insulted. But this wontn help improve our speech. We
need to apply what we learn to ourselves. Keep asking "when have i done
this to someone else?" "what do i need to do to be careful about in the
future?"
Lesson 2 Any statement that
is not lashon hora in itself, but will cause lashon hora to be spoken,
is termed avak lashon hora (a tinge of lashon hora). While this isn’t
as serious as actual lashon hora, it is prohibited and very important.
We present the following practical Halachos of Muktza as excerpted from the first thorough work of its kind in English, The Halachos of Muktza by Rabbi Pinchas Bodner, Shlita (Feldheim; originally published in 1981).
1. Shells, Peels: Inedible peels and shells are muktza. Therefore, items such as egg shells, nut shells, and the like are muktza. Edible peels such as apple peels or pear peels are viewed as regular food and not muktza. Peels which are only suitable for animals, are not muktza on Shabbos.
2. Canned Food: According to some poskim it is prohibited to open cans, as well as many types of sealed food containers and bottles on Shabbos. The poskim rule, however, that all sealed food containers and canned goods are nor muktza. However, cans containing food which is not edible on Shabbos e.g. popping corn, are muktza.
3. Rain: According to most poskim, rain which fell on Shabbos or Yomtov is not considered nolad and may be used. These poskim rule that since the moisture existed beforehand (in the form of clouds); it is not considered nolad when it falls on Shabbos or Yomtov. Thus, according to this view, one may drink, use, and move this rain water (providing that it is not dirty) on Shabbos.
4. The following are the halachos of muktza with regard to medications on Shab¬bos and Yom Tov:
a. Medications which will not be used on Shabbos are muktza. This applies both to prescription and non-prescription medications, e.g. aspirin, Alka Seltzer, and cough medicines are all muktza.
b. Medicines as well as all types of muktza may be moved for a sick person, even for a Choleh Sheayn Bo Sakana--a sick person whose sickness does not pose a possible threat to his life.
5. Garbage and Garbage Cans: Usable food items in the garbage are under certain conditions, not Muktza, however, many items commonly found in one’s garbage are muktza. Therefore: since many garbage items are muktza, it is suggested that one should not move his garbage or his garbage can on Shabbos or Yom Tov [without the guidance of your Rav, as to your particular situation]. Where foul odors from the garbage are causing discomfort to people, the garbage may be removed in accordance with the rules outlined in Chapter 21, part 6 of the book.
6. Frozen Food: Frozen ready-to-eat food is not muktza. Of course, frozen raw meat has the same halacha as raw meat and is muktza. The reason that frozen ready-to-eat food is not muktza is that although the frozen food is inedible bain hashmoshos, since it can be defrosted and, thereby, become edible on Shabbos, it is considered regular food and is not muktza.
Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud Lesson 1 Whenever we refrain from insulting someone or from verbally causing them distress, we are fulfilling a mitzva.
Lesson 2 We are not allowed to relate lashon
hora to someone else about their relatives. For example, Suri cannot
tell Yoily’s grandparents that "Yoily hangs around with a bad crowd".
(Of course, if its for a constructive purpose, those rules would apply) ------------------------------------------------------ Lashon Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that is TRUE Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a derogatory statement that is FALSE About Whom is it Forbidden to Speak Lashon Hora
- Any Individual Jew - Alive or not, - adult or child, family member
(spouse, in-laws, parent, child, siblings), groups/sects of Jews,
Entire Jewish Nation Onaas Devorim - Verbal Abuse
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- These lessons are derived from a few books: Guard your Tongue: Adapted from Choeftz Chaim by Zelig Pliskin The Power of Words by Zelig Pliskin Chofetz
Chaim: A Lesson a Day - The Concepts and Laws of Proper Speech Arranged
for Daily Study By Shimon Finkleman and Yitzhok Berkowitz Purity of Speech: A short lesson on the halachot of shmirat Halashon Chofetz Chaim - A Daily Companion: Arranged by Reb Yehuda Zev Segal
Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud Lesson 1 If
you say something to someone, and s/he didn’t hear you properly, be
careful not to insult them. Some people are in the habit of saying
things like "what are you, deaf or something". Yes, there are some
people who are hard of hearing and could be very offended by this. You
never know. Try to get peoples attention in a less offensive manner.
Lesson 2 It is important to know that we are
not allowed to speak lashon hora about a Jew to someone who is not
Jewish. Besides speaking lashon hora, it can cause a chilul hashem
(desecration of Gd) and is liable to cause the Jew great harm.
Additionally, speaking badly about one Jew can help build the
stereotypes about Jews as a whole and foster antisemitism. ------------------------------------------------------ Lashon Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that is TRUE Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a derogatory statement that is FALSE About Whom is it Forbidden to Speak Lashon Hora
- Any Individual Jew - Alive or not, - adult or child, family member
(spouse, in-laws, parent, child, siblings), groups/sects of Jews,
Entire Jewish Nation --------------------------------------------------------------------------- These lessons are derived from a few books: Guard your Tongue: Adapted from Choeftz Chaim by Zelig Pliskin The Power of Words by Zelig Pliskin Chofetz
Chaim: A Lesson a Day - The Concepts and Laws of Proper Speech Arranged
for Daily Study By Shimon Finkleman and Yitzhok Berkowitz Purity of Speech: A short lesson on the halachot of shmirat Halashon Chofetz Chaim - A Daily Companion: Arranged by Reb Yehuda Zev Segal
Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud Lesson 1 People
who are unusually short or tall can be sensitive about their height. To
call someone "shorty" or to make any disparaging remarks about their
heights, is about us focusing on superficial attributes and is
considered verbal abuse.
Lesson 2 We are not allowed to insult others.
Sometimes we try to conceal our insults through humor and wit. This
causes bystanders to laugh and greatly increases the victims
embarrassment. We all know what this looks and sounds like so I don’t
think examples are necessary here.
------------------------------------------------------ Lashon Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that is TRUE Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a derogatory statement that is FALSE About Whom is it Forbidden to Speak Lashon Hora
- Any Individual Jew - Alive or not, - adult or child, family member
(spouse, in-laws, parent, child, siblings), groups/sects of Jews,
Entire Jewish Nation --------------------------------------------------------------------------- These lessons are derived from a few books: Guard your Tongue:
Adapted from Choeftz Chaim by Zelig Pliskin The Power of Words by Zelig Pliskin Chofetz
Chaim: A Lesson a Day - The Concepts and Laws of Proper Speech Arranged
for Daily Study By Shimon Finkleman and Yitzhok Berkowitz Purity of Speech: A short lesson on the halachot of shmirat Halashon Chofetz Chaim - A Daily Companion: Arranged by Reb Yehuda Zev Segal
Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud Lesson 1 - Speaking TO People There are people who somehow manage to always catch others at their worst. Critical people focus on those times, remember it, and keep commenting on it. It seems as if they are playing the game of "I caught you". One can see the gleam in their eyes when they catch someone doing something wrong. Think about what we are focusing on. The way to motivate people to improve is to reinforce when they do things right. Notice how people are growing and improving, appreciate it. express it.
Lesson 2 - Speaking ABOUT People We are forbidden to ridicule Torah thoughts. Even if the ridicule is true, it is considered lashon hora. (Obviously, the laws of speaking for a constructive purpose would apply here). ------------------------------------------------------ Lashon Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that is TRUE Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a derogatory statement that is FALSE About Whom is it Forbidden to Speak Lashon Hora - Any Individual Jew - Alive or not, - adult or child, family member (spouse, in-laws, parent, child, siblings), groups/sects of Jews, Entire Jewish Nation --------------------------------------------------------------------------- These lessons are derived from a few books: Guard your Tongue: Adapted from Choeftz Chaim by Zelig Pliskin The Power of Words by Zelig Pliskin Chofetz Chaim: A Lesson a Day - The Concepts and Laws of Proper Speech Arranged for Daily Study By Shimon Finkleman and Yitzhok Berkowitz Purity of Speech: A short lesson on the halachot of shmirat Halashon Chofetz Chaim - A Daily Companion: Arranged by Reb Yehuda Zev Segal
Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud Lesson 1 Any statement that disparages the appearance of another person is considered onaas devarim (verbal abuse). Many find it extremely painful if someone implies that they look ugly, especially because there is usually nothing they can do to change it. If someone tells you something like "ur room is so messy..." don’t respond with comments like "well your face doesn’t look too good either".
Lesson 2 We are forbidden to defame someone who is no longer alive. Saying things like "Mr. X. cheated a lot of people during his lifetime" is considered lashon hora.
------------------------------------------------------ Lashon Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that is TRUE Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a derogatory statement that is FALSE About Whom is it Forbidden to Speak Lashon Hora - Any Individual Jew - Alive or not, - adult or child, family member (spouse, in-laws, parent, child, siblings), groups/sects of Jews, Entire Jewish Nation --------------------------------------------------------------------------- These lessons are derived from a few books: Guard your Tongue: Adapted from Choeftz Chaim by Zelig Pliskin The Power of Words by Zelig Pliskin Chofetz Chaim: A Lesson a Day - The Concepts and Laws of Proper Speech Arranged for Daily Study By Shimon Finkleman and Yitzhok Berkowitz Purity of Speech: A short lesson on the halachot of shmirat Halashon Chofetz Chaim - A Daily Companion: Arranged by Reb Yehuda Zev Segal
Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud Lesson 1- Speaking TO People
Almost everyone finds nagging irritating. There are times when parents, teachers, employers, and spouses find they have to be persistent. This should be restricted to instances when other methods do not work. Find more positive ways of motivating people to do what is necessary. When you know deep down that nagging wont help, keep silent. It won’t result in anything constructive.
Lesson 2 - Speaking ABOUT People
Many times we can be in doubt about whether what we will say can be considered lashon hora or not. We may wonder if we are in the situation where its an exception and we should say something. What do we do? When in doubt. Silence is the best policy. ------------------------------------------------------ Lashon Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that is TRUE Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a derogatory statement that is FALSE About Whom is it Forbidden to Speak Lashon Hora - Any Individual Jew - Alive or not, - adult or child, family member (spouse, in-laws, parent, child, siblings), groups/sects of Jews, Entire Jewish Nation --------------------------------------------------------------------------- These lessons are derived from a few books: Guard your Tongue: Adapted from Choeftz Chaim by Zelig Pliskin The Power of Words by Zelig Pliskin Chofetz Chaim: A Lesson a Day - The Concepts and Laws of Proper Speech Arranged for Daily Study By Shimon Finkleman and Yitzhok Berkowitz Purity of Speech: A short lesson on the halachot of shmirat Halashon Chofetz Chaim - A Daily Companion: Arranged by Reb Yehuda Zev Segal
By now, much of the Torah community has heard or read of the recent story of the young girl who did not eat for a couple of hours after she got home because her family had accepted upon themselves (as a zechus for their departed mother) not to recite a bracha unless there was someone present to answer Amen—and there was no one home to answer. The reward for her selfless act, as was revealed in a dream, was that another girl in her class was completely healed from an extremely serious illness.
In actuality, an extremely significant Sefer, HaMevorech Misborech by HaRav Yaakov Moshe Shechter, Shlita, was published prior to this event. In the sefer, HaRav Shechter demonstrates the power and effect that our daily brachos have, and how a mere change in the manner in which we make the brachos (which we are reciting anyway) every day, can literally guard our lives physically, enhance our lives spiritually and serve as a source of tremendous Shemira--guardian--for all of Klal Yisroel.
In this very special sefer, HaRav Shechter provides us with the following essential insights and information:
1. Rabbeinu Bachya (in the Kad HaKemach) writes that one who is careful with making brachos (both on Mitzvos and over food), “demonstrates the quality of his Emunah, the purity of his heart and testifies about himself that his Yahadus is deeply rooted within him.” 2. Similarly, the Rashba (to Brachos 7B), writes that proper recital of brachos causes an increase of Rachamim, of mercy, from HaKadosh Baruch Hu. The Maharsha (to Brachos 64A) adds that brachos are “marbeh shalom”--they increase the peace" between Klal Yisroel and our Father in Heaven. 3. It is said in the name of HaRav Elchonon Wasserman, Z’tl, H’YD, that, because the proper recitation of brachos can prevent “mageifos, machalos, u’pegoim raim min haolam--plagues, sicknesses, and negative events from occurring in the world,” if a person does not recite his brachos properly, he can actually be said to be violating the requirement of “Lo Saamod Al Dam Reyacha--do not stand idly by when your brother’s blood is being spilled” (Vayikra 19:16). “There is no greater cruelty than this, may Hashem spare us from it.” 4. There are many points to be made about the great maalos of being careful to recite “Meah Brachos”—100 brachos every day. We will refer to only a few here: a. The Halacha regarding the requirement to recite 100 brachos every day is explicitly stated in Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim, 46:3. b. The basis for reciting 100 Brachos a day is the fundamental Pasuk in Devorim (10:12) which asks: “What does Hashem [actually, really] ask of you...” Chazal (Menachos 43B) teach about this Pasuk “Do not read it as: What {Ma} does Hashem ask of you?” but rather “One hundred {Me’ah} [brachos] is what Hashem asks of you.” This Chazal is far from a play on words. While many first associate 100 Brachos with Dovid HaMelech (when, upon his insistence, the people were careful to recite 100 Brachos daily, 100 people stopped dying daily), Rabbeinu Bachya and the Chida actually write that 100 brachos were recited in the times of Moshe Rabbeinu, but, over time, the requirement was forgotten. We were then, unfortunately, “reminded” to renew the practice by the plague in Dovid’s time. Indeed, the Bach (to Tur, Chapter 46) writes that reciting these brachos properly saves one from mortal danger…even in our time. Hakhel Note: The Sefer Piskei Teshuvos (Orach Chaim, 46), brings a Ma’aseh with HaRav Shlomo Zalmen Auerbach, Z’tl. A Torah scholar who was seriously ill came to visit him, seeking Chizuk in his illness. HaRav Auerbach responded that his best advice would be for the scholar to recite his daily brachos slowly and with Kavannah. c. The Chida writes that there are 26 words in the Pasuk of “What does Hashem ask...”, and that the Pasuk begins with a Vav and ends with a Chaf (26, in total), indicating that Hashem’s Name of mercy (with the gematria of 26) will surround us in reward for our efforts in reciting the 100 Brachos properly. d. There is a machlokes haposkim as to whether women are obligated to recite 100 brachos every day, or whether it is a mitzvas asei shehazman grama, from which women are exempt (but could perform!). The Shevet HaLevi, Shlita, and HaRav Moshe Shternbuch, Shlita, for instance, rule that women are exempt. HaRav Elyashiv, Shlita, and HaRav Ovadia Yosef, Shlita, rule that women, too, should recite 100 Brachos a day. e. HaRav Shimshon Pincus, Z’tl, writes that if we were entitled to speak to Hashem 100 times a day, and spoke to Him properly those 100 times--it would be absolutely impossible for Hashem to be upset or angry with us. Need anything more be said? f. For further detail on how to ensure that you recite 100 brachos every day, see the Mishna Berurah to the Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 46, Seif Katan 14, and other commentaries to Shulchan Aruch there.
5. HaRav Yerucham Levovitz, Z’tl, teaches that if a person would know what goes on in his body from the time food enters his mouth until it is utilized or leaves, he would send a telegram home to his house not to worry, that everything went well. In a similar vein, HaRav Eliyahu Roth, Z’tl, taught, “Do you know what the bracha of Asher Yotzar is?! You have just undergone difficult and complicated surgery, which has been accomplished without anesthesia, and without terrible pain and suffering, by the greatest Doctor--and for free!!” 6. The Chayei Odom (5:26), writes that before making a bracha, one should reflect for a moment on the wondrous Chesed that Hashem has granted you with the fruit, the bread, etc. 7. Likewise, before concluding each bracha of Shemone Esrei--i.e., before Boruch Ata Hashem of each bracha, one should focus on the simple meaning of the bracha that he is about to make. The Tur (Orach Chaim 101) writes that there are exactly 113 words in the aggregate in the “chasimos” (from Baruch Ata Hashem on) of the brachos of Shemone Esrei --corresponding to the Tefillos Chana! How Powerful! 8. In compiling the thoughts of Chazal, Rishonim and Achronim, the HaMevarech Misborechconcludes that the following are practical means to maximize the literally super-human powers contained in one’s daily brachos. To the extent possible, one should recite them:
a. First thinking for a moment of “L’Mi Hu Mevorach, V’Al Ma Hu Mevorech--to Whom he is reciting the Blessing, and on what he is reciting the Blessing.” b. aloud c. slowly, with patience (even/especially if you are hungry) d. clearly e. pleasantly f. while not doing anything else; and g. sitting (for brachos over food).
9. The above simple change in one’s daily routine could truly effect a change in one’s entire life (and the lives of others around you). A person can feel a heightened sense of Kedusha, and can actually feel uplifted when making a bracha. If starting with “100 Brachos a Day” seems too difficult a task at first (although remember you are doing it anyway!), you can start with ten Brachos or so a day and build up at your own pace from there... 10. The Chida writes that the word Bereishis--the first word of the Torah--is an acronym for “B’Kol Rom Avorech Shem Hashem Tomid--I will bless Hashem out loud always.” Thus, with the first word in the Torah, Hashem has already signaled to us the purpose of our creation... 11. Finally, the Medrash Tanchuma (Bereishis) advises: “...and just as a person blesses Hashem, so does Hashem bless him!”
Please Say/Whisper The Words Out Loud Lesson 1- Speaking TO People
Almost everyone finds nagging irritating. There are times when parents, teachers, employers, and spouses find they have to be persistent. This should be restricted to instances when other methods do not work. Find more positive ways of motivating people to do what is necessary. When you know deep down that nagging wont help, keep silent. It won’t result in anything constructive.
Lesson 2 - Speaking ABOUT People
Many times we can be in doubt about whether what we will say can be considered lashon hora or not. We may wonder if we are in the situation where its an exception and we should say something. What do we do? When in doubt. Silence is the best policy. ------------------------------------------------------ Lashon Hora = Saying a derogatory/negative statement about someone else that is TRUE Motzi Shaim Ra (Defamation of Character) = Saying a derogatory statement that is FALSE About Whom is it Forbidden to Speak Lashon Hora - Any Individual Jew - Alive or not, - adult or child, family member (spouse, in-laws, parent, child, siblings), groups/sects of Jews, Entire Jewish Nation --------------------------------------------------------------------------- These lessons are derived from a few books: Guard your Tongue: Adapted from Choeftz Chaim by Zelig Pliskin The Power of Words by Zelig Pliskin Chofetz Chaim: A Lesson a Day - The Concepts and Laws of Proper Speech Arranged for Daily Study By Shimon Finkleman and Yitzhok Berkowitz Purity of Speech: A short lesson on the halachot of shmirat Halashon Chofetz Chaim - A Daily Companion: Arranged by Reb Yehuda Zev Segal
As we commence the Second Week of the Three Week period, we may address a fundamental question. Every year, for almost 2,000 years, we have been observing the very same Three Week period, beginning with the calamities that befell us on Shiva Asar B’Tammuz, and ending with the catastrophes that occurred on Tisha B’Av. There may be differences of Minhagim among the different communities, but the sullenness and solemnity of the days are common to them all. One may legitimately ask his Rabbi whether it is permitted to eat peanut butter ice cream with chocolate fudge topping and colored sprinkles during the Nine Days, and even receive a definitive response that it is not prohibited. However, a question of this sort emphasizes the "tofel" (even ice cream can be tofel, secondary), and disregards the "ikar" of the period that we are in.
So here is the fundamental question: Do we simply continue observing the period that we are now in the same way as we did last year--10 years ago and 20 years ago--or do we do something different? After all, on the one hand, we have been and are doing everything that we thought was, and is, right according to Halacha during this time--to the point that when we are doubtful, we ask a Rav. On the other hand, it does not appear that we have succeeded, for the Bais HaMikdash is still in ruins and we find ourselves in a world pervaded by terrorism and materialism, and with a value system completely incongruous to Torah. So perhaps we should try something different, something else, and something we have not done before. Perhaps we should approach the Churban and exile from a different angle. After all, in the business and professional world, if something does not work one way, you try another way, before giving up.
In order to deal with this dilemma, in order to determine whether we should continue doing the same (proper) things we have always been doing, and that our fathers and forefathers have been doing for hundreds upon hundreds of years--or whether we should do something else--we look to the analogy of our Gallus existence, as taught to school children. You may recall being taught that while in exile, we rebuild the Bais HaMikdash brick by brick, with every Mitzvah that we perform being at least one brick in the new, magnificent, everlasting, Third Bais HaMikdash.
Thus, as we continue to do what we are supposed to do, and as our ancestors have done over all these years, we are continuously building and building and building an edifice that we can simply not currently fathom. However, to continue the analogy, sometimes one can build faster if he has the right equipment, the right tools and the right skill. Yet at other times, the construction process may be quickened simply by pure effort, toil and exertion. In Egypt, for example, Chazal teach that the bitterness of our toil significantly curtailed the decreed term of our exile (the "quality" of the labor making up for the additional time that had to be spent there). It is for this reason, many teach, that Maror, the bitter herbs, are eaten **after** the Matzah on the night of the Seder--for through the Maror the redemption was hastened.
It is no secret that Tisha B’Av always falls on the same day of the week as the Night of the Seder (which is the reason, some explain, that we have the egg symbolizing mourning on the Seder Plate, and that some actually eat the egg at the beginning of the otherwise festive Seder Meal). Obviously, we are to learn from the Exodus from Egypt how we are to accomplish the Exodus from our current exile, as well.
We may therefore suggest that while we can and should continue to build the Third and Final Bais HaMikdash in the same manner as we have done in the past; there is room for us to perhaps further hasten the redemption by taking some new and different action so that those bricks are put up faster and faster. Picture the difference between viewing a bricklayer building a wall in regular motion, and watching him build that very same wall in "fast-forward." It will most certainly take a much shorter time for the wall to be completed.
Let us try to avoid the Maror, the bitterness, as the catalyst for a speedy redemption if at all possible. Instead, perhaps we should look at what caused the initial walls to fall in such a short period, as taught by Chazal. Over the next several days, b’li neder, we intend to mention some of these causes of destruction, which, if rectified, can be the means of redemption. We are assured in the "Nacheim" Tefillah that we recite on Tisha B’Av--for You, Hashem, with fire You consumed her, and with fire You will rebuild her…The same fire that destroyed, can and will rebuild.
Today, we will begin with the Chazal (Nedarim 81A) teaching that the reason we lost Eretz Yisroel was that: "They did not make the Bracha before studying Torah". Many find it difficult to learn that this means that the appropriate Bracha was not actually recited by the masses prior to Torah study. Rather, it is suggested that the Bracha was not recited with the sufficient feeling and thought, as is befitting Torah and all that it is and that it represents. After all, what makes me different from all of the nations, all other peoples, all of the beings around me? It is the Torah--with its Divine source, and the Mitzvos and Ma’asim Tovim that emanate directly and unabatedly from it. If we do not appreciate this, if we recite the Brochos hastily and/or sleepily, while walking in the home or to Shul, and not from a Siddur, then perhaps we ought to go out to (or stay in) Exile--among the nations--to study and finally appreciate what makes us different.
One tikun, one improvement that we can undertake over the next two weeks is to recite Birchos HaTorah a little more properly--from a Siddur, understanding the meaning of the words, and with an appreciation for what the Torah means to each one of us individually, and to us as a people. If we do, we may be laying some of those last rows of bricks--at a "fast-forward" pace!
Important Numbers
