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Have a question? Send it in! Questions are answered by Rabbi Bartfeld.
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# 4552 Black Market Day?
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Q. Is it permitted to go shopping on Black Friday?
A. On question 670 we were asked: “Can one take advantage of a sale that is given on a non-Jewish religious holiday or is it as agreeing to the spirit of the celebration? How about Black Friday?”
To what we answered: “Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit”a opinion is that seasonal sales do not have religious significance and are only secular business activities. Black Friday could be only a reflection of the economic success expected, as opposed to “being on the red.” Unquestionably, that seems to be the generalized custom today.”
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 11/24/2023 10:41 AM |
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# 4551 Get The Picture?
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Q. At a weekly shiur that I attend we were discussing Lo Taasun Itti and we were wondering if 3D holograms of humans would violate it?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that although one may argue that it appears as creating a human graven image, since it lacks real physical embodiment, it is permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 11/24/2023 12:14 AM |
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# 4550 Is this Bar a Mitzvah?
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Q. Dear Rabbi Bartfeld shelitah: We would like to know if this document (copy sent to you) issued by the Rabbinical Alliance of America is enough to bar the man named from coming to our shul?
He is obviously not respectful of the Dayanim and is causing great pain to his wife. They are separated already two and a half years and he is demanding a large amount for the get.
Based on this document should he be barred from shul? What is the next step?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that since the document you sent, was issued by the Union of Orthodox Rabbis of the U.S. and Canada, that as their address shows has mainly its jurisdiction, rule and acceptance in the U.S., if the shul in question is in the U.S. the document has validity.
If the person involved belongs to a Sephardic background, a Beis Din of his denomination should be approached.
If we are dealing with a Toronto congregation, then a local Beis Din in Toronto should be addressed with the issue. It is for them to decide the actual local case.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 11/24/2023 12:00 AM |
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# 4549 If The Shoe Fits...
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Q. Dear Rabbi Bartfeld, I seem to remember your saying that footwear would be OK to use if it hadn't been worn 30 days prior. Is that correct?
Does the same apply to footwear used by women? Thank you.
A. On question 2106 regarding a recently deceased relative left a number of shoes that she never wore in life. Can they be used or given to the needy. We answered: “On question 1780 we wrote; “Rabi Yehuda HaChosid writes on his Tzavaha (See Sefer Chasidim 454) not to wear the shoes of a deceased, and also not to donate them to others. Although Igrois Moishe (Y.D 3: 123) quotes that there are those who assert that it applies only to shoes made from an animal or a human that perished from a possible contagious disease, however, the minhag is to abstain from all.
There are Poskim that maintain that it only applies to the shoes that were worn at the time of death (Atzei Halebanon Y.D. 46, Yalkut Yosef Avelus p. 385) or at the time the niftar was already ill. (Sheilas Shmuel 74, Mishmeres Sholom 60).
Others maintain that it applies only to shoes worn during the thirty days prior to the death (Gesher Hachaim 1)
See Chashukei Chemed (Yebamos 104a) in regards to pidyon or the redeeming of these shoes as well as donating them to the needy, while the dying patient is still alive.
Mishpetei Uziel (9: 45) permits wearing shoes that were not used by the deceased.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one should follow the minhag and tradition of his family or community.”
As far as women’s footwear is concerned Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it also applies for them.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 11/23/2023 11:55 PM |
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# 4548 Not a Patch in Ponim
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Q. Can one use a piece of a still usable but not actually constantly being used old taalis, that is kept in a shul for the ones that need it, as when visiting. This is now needed to make a patch of that material to fix a constantly usable taalis? (That would make that old ta’alis practically unusable).
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is permitted, since it is used for a mitzva. The old taalis should not be now used, since it may have added to the number of corners intended (depending on the size of the patch removed).
That taalis could be disposed, as is often done, by sending it to the Chevra Kadisha to be used for the burial of some of the dead.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 11/23/2023 11:50 PM |
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# 4547 Fast Fix For Fast
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Q. Does someone have to fast if when entering early to shul, he sees of a pair of Tefilin laying on the ground, that apparently fell from their bag when the shul was being cleaned?
A. In principle since he did not cause himself the desecration of the Tefilin, he does not truly have to fast.
However, out of the deep sorrowful distress of witnessing the above desecration, that as mentioned by Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a, has similarities to being present at the terrible anguished, tragic burning of a Sefer Torah, one should do something praiseworthy for the benefit of Tefilin in that shul, such as arranging that Tefilin should be checked by a qualified Sofer.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 11/23/2023 11:37 PM |
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# 4546 A Blessing that is Not the Last
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Q. Why is there no mention of Chanuka when reciting the Beracha Acharona for Mezonot or wine? If someone wants to say it anyway is it correct?
A. Mishna Berura (682: 2) rules that on Chanuka or Purim when reciting the Brocho Acharono for Mezonos or wine we don’t mention the special names of these particular days.
Levush, (208) explains that ‘Al Hanissim’ should be recited in a brocho of ‘Hoda’a, or special thanks, that does not include the short Beracha Acharona for Mezonos.
Lechem Chamudos (See Machatzis Hashekel - 208: 18) adds that since these are festivities not mentioned in the Torah, they are not included in this brocho.
However, Piskei Teshuvos (682: 3) mentions that if said, after the fact it is acceptable.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 11/23/2023 11:31 PM |
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# 4545 Great but not Truly a Good Shailah
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- Q. Dear Rov we appreciate the fact that you can get prompt answers from Gedolim to most unusual question. One from a dear friend and Yeshiva Bachur. He was staying for Yom Tov on one of the houses that were attacked by the Chamas murderers. He heard the weapons being fired and the screams of the weeping friends victims. He opened his hearth to me and wanted to know if it was correct for him to hold on to a kitchen knife, and though if found he would certainly be murdered, a least he would be able to kill or harm his attacker. He survived Beezrat Hashem, since he was hiding behind furniture. What would have been the correct thing for him to do if there was no real chance of survival?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that if truly there would have been no chance for saving his life at all anymore, and by harming or killing the terrorist he could be saving other lives, he should indeed do so.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 11/23/2023 11:21 PM |
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# 4544 - Make Yourself At Home
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Q. A yeshiva bachur who is staying in yeshiva for Shabbos Chanuka but eating as a guest elsewhere where should he light? Can he light in the dining room in the same building where all other bachurim light even without eating there?
How about if one who is invited Shabbos Chanuka to a friend’s simcha and will be eating with them at the night seuda, while he will be sleeping with another family and eating the day’s seuda in the shul’s banquet hall, where should he light the Chanuka menorah?
A. Remah (O.H. 677: 1) rules that in our times one lights usually in the place where one eats.
On question 2475 we wrote: “Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that he should light at his main host, which is baal-simcha, and provider of the Shabbos Friday-night seuda.
The reason is that his overnight stay at an other’s family home, was likely arranged by his host and they are just being their shluchim or representatives. Had his host had the capabilities, he would have invited them to stay in his own home.
He can light his own menorah or contribute some money to share with their host.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 11/23/2023 11:19 PM |
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# 4543 An Early Kiddush
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Q. Kevod Harov Shlit’a. When is the earliest time after an early Maariv after Shekiah that people can say Kiddush Levanah, during winter?
A. On question 3279 we wrote: “Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a mentioned once that a minyan that davens early Maariv after the Shekia, could recite Kiddush Levana when in need, even only eighteen minutes after the Shekia, as long as they can clearly see then the moon.
The fact that one can recite Kiddush Levana with a group of people or a minyan and comply with the mitzva of ‘Berov Am Hadras Melech’ or keeping with a mitzva with many, and also avoiding some of forgetting to do it, is most important.” See also Teshuvos Vehanhogos (O.H. 4: 93). and question 3555 in this forum.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller and Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu Shlit’a
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Posted 11/20/2023 6:04 PM |
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# 4542 Our Most Beautiful and Nice Close Family?
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Q. Dearest Rabbi Shlit’a. As we read the current and next Parshios in with the story of Yaakov and his older brother Eisav, describing the foundations and base sources of the Jewish Nation, I wonder at what point was Eisav removed from being part and parcel of the Jewish people? Was it maybe when he decided to take all those strange and very unfit idol serving wives that his parents detested? Or was it his abnormal, immoral and degenerate conduct with the rights and belongings of others that decided his future in our nation?
A. “Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it all began when Eisav sold his first birthright to Yaakov for a pottage of lentils, and then he just ate, drank, arose and left, thus truly despising the meaning and importance of his birthright.
The Rov also quoted Talmud sources, that Eisav was considered a ‘Mumar’ or a unbeliever or irreligious member of our nation, nevertheless, still then part and parcel of it.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 11/19/2023 10:27 AM |
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# 4541 Thoughts for Your Penny
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Q. Can one leave on the floor a U.S. penny coin that has the name of G-d on it, and on what people are going to step on it?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it is permitted.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 11/17/2023 10:56 AM |
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# 4540 Sitting in Judgment
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Q. I have a friend who's a convert who was told she can sit for something like a shiva for a non-Jewish parent. How does a convert observe the "yahrtzeit" of a parent? What are their obligations? Should they follow the secular date or the Hebrew date of the parent's passing? What is recommended or suggested to mark the occasion?
A. On question 1334 regarding if a convert can sit shiva and recite kadish for his benevolent and righteous father or mother that did not convert? How about if they were actively keeping another religion.we wrote:
The Talmud (Yevamos 22a) teaches that although a Ger who converts is considered as a new born person and looses his familial connections to his biological family, rabbinically he cannot marry his sister or other close relatives. The Talmud explains that the reason is, people will say the Ger left a stronger sanctity and converted to a lesser and more lenient religion.
Rambam (H. Ma'amrim 5: 11) rules that not only should a ger observe the negative commandments in regards to dishonouring or shaming his parents, but he should also show some honor and respect to them. (See also Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 241: 9) Yad Avrohom explains that honoring parents is an obligation for Bnei Noach, as we can infer from the narrative of Chom Ben Noach, yet they are not punished for non-compliance as they are in the case of the other seven Noahide mitzvos. Rabi Akiva Eiger in his notes (ibid.) maintains that it is referring to the way Gentiles in their own beliefs and laws, greatly honor their progenitors. Igrois Moshe (Y.D. 2: 130) in a similar shaile rules that even when the parent is not ill, the ger is permitted an occasional visit and is also allowed to bring along his children.
However, he should do so infrequently so that the children will not adhere to the former religion of their father, join his grandparents in eating non-kosher and do other common prohibitions. Otherwise, in case of need or illness, just as one has to take care and visit the afflicted gentiles and tend to their needs, certainly and more so, the ger has to take care of his own parents. (See also Nishmas Avrohom 2: p. 276) Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit”a opinion is similar. (See also question 825 in this forum).
Yechave Daas (6: 60) rules that a convert can recite kadish for his parents, say the customary hashkava and pray leilui nishmosom and elevation of their souls. Yalkut Yosef (Avelus H. Kadish 12) adds that he should recite kadish in an unpretentious and demure style, not to rise the criticism of others. (See also Miyam Hahalacha 2: 16, Eitz Hachaim p. 305).
Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 374: 5) rules that a convert does not sit shiva for his parents even if they also converted, since they are regarded as being reborn again and to have lost their filial connection. (Be'er Hagola ibid. 10). Some maintain that according to the Poskim that first day avelus is Biblical, they have to sit that one day. However, the Halacha does not follow that opinion (Shach ibid. 4).
Horav Shlomo Miller's Shlit'a opinion is that a convert should not sit shiva or recite kadish for his parents, but should offer his sincere and heartfelt prayers to Hashem in their behalf.
On question 3761 regarding if a Ger can recite Kaddish for his dear father that did not convert, but was very good and helpful to him, practically from the ‘ Chasidei Umot Haolam’, (righteous of the nations) we wrote:
Z’kan Aharon (2; 86) maintains that although it is for many a surprising tradition, it is proper in such a case to recite Kaddish for his Gentile father, although it is not an obligation. Mimamakim (3: 8) deals with reciting Kaddish for a non-Jewish woman, that saved the life of many persecuted during W.W.11
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Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that Kaddish should not be recited.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 11/17/2023 10:53 AM |
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# 4539 Intentions that Pave the Road to Heaven
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Q. One who is going away for Shabbos and can get a free ride later in the day on Erev Shabbos or take a bus earlier, and he wants to leave earlier due to Kavod Shabbos, is the expense considered a Shabbos expense?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that it depends mainly in the intention of the individual involved. If it is done for the sake and honor of Shabbos, even if it is days or more before, it is considered to be a Kavod Shabbos and thus included in those expenses.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 11/17/2023 10:47 AM |
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# 4538 The Eternal Rush Hour
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Q. Hello Rav, Now my boys are old enough, so we often have a zimmun of 3 men. I know there is a mitzvah to bentch on a Kos of wine/grape juice. I seem to remember it being very common when I was a student in Israel 20 years ago, but these days in Toronto I don't see it often
I asked a Rav in Lakewood that I attend a online shiur with and he said that its not the minhag to use a kos with 3 people anymore and he doesn't see anyone doing it. I know that we don't use a kos for a single person bentching (even though halacha says to), but do we also now not do it with 3? Is it haughty to do it when so many in the community are not doing it? How much of a mitzvah is it really? And what if I want to do the mitzvah, but I'd prefer not to have the extra calories, how do I weight those options? Is there a benifit to bentching on the kos even if I choose not to drink the wine (like ashkenazim do for seudat shlishit)? Thanks!
A. In our days due to the frequent speed of things and time, it is common that people after davening or in other occasions are rushed to their next activity. That is in our case often learning Torah, and are therefore not engaging in the necessary “Kevias Seuda” or the intention of a group eating together. Therefore no ‘Zimun’is required.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is similar.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 11/17/2023 10:42 AM |
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# 4537 - That’ll Teach Someone Something
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Q. Dear Rabbi. As you know I have been teaching for over twenty in a college where most of the teachers and students are of the left and against Israel. It has lately become very extreme. Can I continue teaching or I must morally quit and loose my pension and other rights?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that you should indeed proudly continue your practice and teaching position and try to organize a group of students that still see the truth and reality of the situation.
Giving up is not the correct option. Fighting for our true believes is what is needed and with the brocho of Hashem we will succeed
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Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 11/16/2023 9:58 PM |
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# 4536 - Drum Up Conundrum
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Q. If one is from Israel but davening in Toronto. can he lead services as an aveil despite the v’sein tal umatar livracha conundrum?
A. Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that since there are many different issues involved in this shaila, the best option is that on the Shemonezre one davens for himself, if he has any concerns he may say in case of valid Halacha opinion ‘Vesen Tal Umatar Livracha,” while in the loud repetition he should mention ‘Vesen Brocho’ as the local minyan now still says.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 11/16/2023 9:55 PM |
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# 4535 So Far - So Near
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Q. If a person in 2023 is still unwilling to go on the bimah for an aliyah (because of health issues) and insists on standing 12-15 away on the floor of the Shul, can he be given an Aliyah LaTorah?
A. Re- questions 2610, 2624 and 2629 regarding a group of five neighbors that share different sides and corners of their back yards, with one standing in the middle, that want to organize a minyan during the critical Covid times. Since each family has one or several bar mitzva children and they are all staying home because of the required separation. They organized a minyan by just looking over the fences of the adjoining properties. (See there the important details and conditions).
When reading the Torah in the central backyard, can someone in an adjoining property receive an aliyah without entering into the yard where the Torah is being read?
To what we answered: “Horav Dovid Pam Shlit’a mentioned that he heard in the name of Horav Shlomo Miller Shlit’a that he permitted a neighbor that is inside his own backyard and cannot read the Torah from that far, to be called and then recite the brochos from where he is, as he would normally do, and then just listen to the reading of the Torah.
The above is based on the fact that a blind person, can also be called to the Torah and proceed to recite the brochos before and after, even when he can’t actually read the sefer, but just hear the reading. (See Remah O.H. 139 : 3, and Mishna Berura ibid. 130).”
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a reiterated his position when dealing with a person who may be in significant health danger if being infected. However, if possible it would be better to avoid the aliyah altogether.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 11/16/2023 11:23 AM |
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# 4534 - Bigger than Yom Kippur Kotton
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Q. Rov, I have a Shiur Kavua with four talmidim, at the time the Yom Kippur Kotton will be tomorrow (Monday, Nov 13 - 23) due to the emergency conditions in Israel, Do I have to cancel the shiur? The talmidim can’t join me at the ceremony.
Horav Shlomo Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that the Torah shiur should not be cancelled, and it should be learned for the merit and redemption of our victims.
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 11/13/2023 4:21 PM |
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# 4533 The Better, Best, Beautiful, Beginnings
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Q. “Kvod Horav Shlit’a. I’m the Menahel (director) of a traditional Torah Cheider (Yeshiva for younger boys). From many years of experience, I have noticed that teachers often behave in two very specific and contrary educational processes towards their students.
Some teachers place their main efforts in rewarding and being pleasant to the good students, when they behave and learn well. While others, on the contrary focus in admonishing and being reproachful to the ones that do not follow the due process wanted in class.
As the school year is about to begin, what is Horav Miller’s Shlit’a opinion as being the preferred and best method?”
A. Although a well known fundamental Pasuk teaches that; “Sur Merah Va’ase Tov” (Firstly one must turn away from the evil, and then do the right good thing’ (Tehilim 34: 14)”, yet, Horav Miller’s Shlit’a opinion is that one usually needs a practical workable combination of the two processes, and one should in principle put a primordial effort to be positive, being pleasant and rewarding.”
Rabbi A. Bartfeld as revised by, Horav Dovid Pam, Horav Aharon Miller, Horav Chanoch Ehrentreu and Horav Kalman Ochs Shlit'a
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Posted 11/12/2023 10:28 AM |
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